Post by TFP on Mar 13, 2008 13:44:49 GMT -4
Driving his sweet ass BMW down the road, Chris and Rob glare at the rich guy as he passes by them on this rainy day, soaking them in water as he drives through a puddle near the curb of the sidewalk. Annoyed with the rain, the two enter a convenience store, then walk around to the back and start to browse at the ice-cream. They're not too sure why they are looking for ice-cream on a rainy day, but considering that it's still hot as fuck in the city, they both grab a two litre tub of ice-cream and take it to the counter, buying it.
"Do you sell spoons?"
"Yeah."
"Can we have two?"
"Two sets?"
"No, two spoons."
"We only sell them in sets."
"Could we buy a pack, take two and give the rest to you?"
"Sorry, we don't accept items that will be returned."
"But it's not returning, it's giving. It's not the whole product or item and it's not with a receipt, so therefore it's giving."
"We can't take it, we have a strict policy and we can only accept gifts from our sponsors."
"Would it hurt JUST to take the spoons and do something with them, like give them away?"
"Give them away?"
"Yes, I think that would be a very profitable thing to do. Selling spoons at the counter, fifty-cents for one."
"That's awfully cheap considering they're mostly metal."
"What about plastic ones, how much do they range around?"
"A dollar ninety-nine."
"Rob, go get us plastic spoons... for a dollar ninety-nine."
Rob walks away and grabs the plastic spoons, then comes back to the counter and sets them down on the counter. The cashier scans them and they pay. Chris takes them and tears a hole in the bag, grabbing two plastic spoons and as he starts to walk away from the bag of them, the cashier says something that stops them.
"What are you doing?!"
"Leaving the spoons for you to sell... you wanted that, right?"
"No, not with plastic spoons. They're worthless, one isn't even worth a dime! To give them away is all they're worth."
"Then how about you give them away?"
"Give them away with what?"
"Give them away with every purchase of ice-cream, that's what."
"I don't think, take the spoons."
"Listen... our ice-cream is melting here. We have to go and eat it or else it will just be liquid."
"Well you're taking the spoons, I'm not keeping them here."
"Fine, whatever... we're leaving. The spoons are not ours."
As Tougher and Colins leave the store with their ice-cream and two spoons, the cashier calls for security and they come out of their little pod in the back area. Two of them stomp out of the store and call Chris and Rob their way, so they follow them into the store and look at the cashier pointing at them in a pissed off way.
"Excuse me, guys... but did you just purchase spoons from this store?"
"Yeah?"
"Then take them."
"But we only need two of them."
"Well too bad, take the spoons."
"People, we're not greedy... we don't need twenty or so spoons, we just need the two."
"Tough luck; if you bought them, you take them."
"We didn't buy them!"
Chris slaps Rob.
"Really, you didn't buy them?"
"...No."
Chris slaps himself.
"Let me see your receipt for the ice-cream then, guys."
"Receipt? What are you talking about? We got no receipt."
"If you don't have a receipt, then you stole that ice-cream."
"We bought it."
"Then show me the receipt for it."
"It's lost."
"With no proof of purchase, we can report you to the police and you'll have to answer just as many questions and suffer even worse consequences."
Frowning, Chris reaches in his pocket and pulls out the receipt, showing it to the security guard. He nods his head, reading it aloud.
"Two tubs of 2 litre ice-cream, eleven dollars and thirty nine cents... a package of spoons, two dollars and twenty nine cents. So you did buy the spoons."
"Fine, we did... but we don't want the rest of them!"
"Too bad, you're keeping them. If they're found in the trash or side of the road, we're calling the police. They're recyclable."
"HOW HARD IS IT TO GET RID OF FUCKING SPOONS?!"
Chris is about to throw his ice-cream at the security guard, but Rihanna's 'Umbrella' plays over the convenience store's radio.
You can stand under my umberalla,
ella ella,
"Ey!"
"Ey!"
Under my umberalla,
"Ella ella!"
"Ey!"
"Ey!"
"Ey! Ey! Ey!"
"Get the fuck out."
"Do you sell spoons?"
"Yeah."
"Can we have two?"
"Two sets?"
"No, two spoons."
"We only sell them in sets."
"Could we buy a pack, take two and give the rest to you?"
"Sorry, we don't accept items that will be returned."
"But it's not returning, it's giving. It's not the whole product or item and it's not with a receipt, so therefore it's giving."
"We can't take it, we have a strict policy and we can only accept gifts from our sponsors."
"Would it hurt JUST to take the spoons and do something with them, like give them away?"
"Give them away?"
"Yes, I think that would be a very profitable thing to do. Selling spoons at the counter, fifty-cents for one."
"That's awfully cheap considering they're mostly metal."
"What about plastic ones, how much do they range around?"
"A dollar ninety-nine."
"Rob, go get us plastic spoons... for a dollar ninety-nine."
Rob walks away and grabs the plastic spoons, then comes back to the counter and sets them down on the counter. The cashier scans them and they pay. Chris takes them and tears a hole in the bag, grabbing two plastic spoons and as he starts to walk away from the bag of them, the cashier says something that stops them.
"What are you doing?!"
"Leaving the spoons for you to sell... you wanted that, right?"
"No, not with plastic spoons. They're worthless, one isn't even worth a dime! To give them away is all they're worth."
"Then how about you give them away?"
"Give them away with what?"
"Give them away with every purchase of ice-cream, that's what."
"I don't think, take the spoons."
"Listen... our ice-cream is melting here. We have to go and eat it or else it will just be liquid."
"Well you're taking the spoons, I'm not keeping them here."
"Fine, whatever... we're leaving. The spoons are not ours."
As Tougher and Colins leave the store with their ice-cream and two spoons, the cashier calls for security and they come out of their little pod in the back area. Two of them stomp out of the store and call Chris and Rob their way, so they follow them into the store and look at the cashier pointing at them in a pissed off way.
"Excuse me, guys... but did you just purchase spoons from this store?"
"Yeah?"
"Then take them."
"But we only need two of them."
"Well too bad, take the spoons."
"People, we're not greedy... we don't need twenty or so spoons, we just need the two."
"Tough luck; if you bought them, you take them."
"We didn't buy them!"
Chris slaps Rob.
"Really, you didn't buy them?"
"...No."
Chris slaps himself.
"Let me see your receipt for the ice-cream then, guys."
"Receipt? What are you talking about? We got no receipt."
"If you don't have a receipt, then you stole that ice-cream."
"We bought it."
"Then show me the receipt for it."
"It's lost."
"With no proof of purchase, we can report you to the police and you'll have to answer just as many questions and suffer even worse consequences."
Frowning, Chris reaches in his pocket and pulls out the receipt, showing it to the security guard. He nods his head, reading it aloud.
"Two tubs of 2 litre ice-cream, eleven dollars and thirty nine cents... a package of spoons, two dollars and twenty nine cents. So you did buy the spoons."
"Fine, we did... but we don't want the rest of them!"
"Too bad, you're keeping them. If they're found in the trash or side of the road, we're calling the police. They're recyclable."
"HOW HARD IS IT TO GET RID OF FUCKING SPOONS?!"
Chris is about to throw his ice-cream at the security guard, but Rihanna's 'Umbrella' plays over the convenience store's radio.
You can stand under my umberalla,
ella ella,
"Ey!"
"Ey!"
Under my umberalla,
"Ella ella!"
"Ey!"
"Ey!"
"Ey! Ey! Ey!"
"Get the fuck out."