Post by TFP on Mar 13, 2008 13:56:47 GMT -4
Chris is extremely pissed off. When he was taking a crap, the bore of sitting caused him to fall asleep and while he was taking a poo-snooze his damn cats came in and stole the toilet paper. So with nothing to whipe with, Chris had to use toilet paper which isn't the best thing to use when you steam a carl a day or two after your birthday. Chris has a plan to solve his feline problems: his bathtub is already filled with cold water and hanging above it is a toaster hooked up to an electrical outlet. It's held up by a plate of cat-treats and it hangs above the bathtub. If one is eaten, the supported weight is gone and the toaster falls, bring the cats to their unfortunate death. But Tougher will go that far just to get revenge for missing toilet paper, he's a crazy guy... too bad ass for APW, despite what that Henderson fellow says.
"Eddie, Billy and Jerry... come to the bathroom, I left treats for you."
"Meow."
"Meow."
"Meow."
"No, I didn't mean turds in the toilet as treats... I really have stuff in here for you. Tuna, anybody?"
"Meow."
"I'm not nasty! You just have sick and disgusting thoughts!"
"Meow."
"Fine, whatever... I'm going to bed again, you guys can find those treats on your own."
"Purr."
"Purr."
"Meow."
"Hiss."
"Purr."
Chris walks out of the bathroom and goes to his bed-room which is a little bit off down the hallway. He lies in his bed underneath the covers patiently and peeks out into the hallway and sees three of his cats scamper into the bathroom. He grabs the video camera and rounds the corner and starts to record what takes place in the bathroom. He hears the draining of water and toaster unplug. The tray of cat treats soon falls and they eat. Chris watches as they eat the food in the empty bathtub. Pissed off, he closes the shower door and tears a piece of his shirt off, clogging the sink with it. He turns both taps on and watches as the sink floods. He slams the door and with the rest of his shirt he cuts off the clearance underneath the door to the floor, making sure that the bathroom is all boxed in.
"Fucking cats, think that they can own me."
Pause.
"Watch out, Michael Vick. I'll make news for drowning cats!"
"Eddie, Billy and Jerry... come to the bathroom, I left treats for you."
"Meow."
"Meow."
"Meow."
"No, I didn't mean turds in the toilet as treats... I really have stuff in here for you. Tuna, anybody?"
"Meow."
"I'm not nasty! You just have sick and disgusting thoughts!"
"Meow."
"Fine, whatever... I'm going to bed again, you guys can find those treats on your own."
"Purr."
"Purr."
"Meow."
"Hiss."
"Purr."
Chris walks out of the bathroom and goes to his bed-room which is a little bit off down the hallway. He lies in his bed underneath the covers patiently and peeks out into the hallway and sees three of his cats scamper into the bathroom. He grabs the video camera and rounds the corner and starts to record what takes place in the bathroom. He hears the draining of water and toaster unplug. The tray of cat treats soon falls and they eat. Chris watches as they eat the food in the empty bathtub. Pissed off, he closes the shower door and tears a piece of his shirt off, clogging the sink with it. He turns both taps on and watches as the sink floods. He slams the door and with the rest of his shirt he cuts off the clearance underneath the door to the floor, making sure that the bathroom is all boxed in.
"Fucking cats, think that they can own me."
Pause.
"Watch out, Michael Vick. I'll make news for drowning cats!"