Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 15:50:54 GMT -4
Null and Void sit in a Chinese Diner at a table in the far back corner. The two are eating up chow-mein with their chop-sticks. Juan Chow walks over to the two and he kneels beside them, setting down a tray of sushi. The two Changs eye the food in delight and at the same time they go to grab a sushi-roll, but Juan grabs their wrists and Judo-Tosses them across the Diner, throwing them over the counter-top and into the wall.
Juan Chow: “That’s my sushi, assholes!”
They climb to their feet and head back over to their chow-mein, continuing to eat it.
Null: “So Juan, what’s new with you? We haven’t talked to you in over a year.”
Void: “Yeah, and the people… they haven’t heard from us in almost a year.”
Juan Chow: “Well, I opened my new restaurant… another Juan Chow’s Chinese Eatery. This time the Asian Mafia isn’t bothering me, neither are the Chongs or Chews.”
The two nod their heads.
Void: “Did you hear about Tachi?”
Juan Chow: “Nope. How’s he doing?”
Void: “He’s in a coma.”
Juan chokes on his sushi and spits it out in surprise.
Juan Chow: “What? How? Was it the Mongolians? Please tell me it was the Mongolians, I’ve been looking for a reason to kick their asses for so long now!”
Void shakes his head.
Void: “No, no… me and Null, we wrestle in a federation called Michigan State Wrestling and about half a year ago, Tachi got in some motor-vehicle wreck of some sorts and has been in a coma ever since.”
Juan Chow: “Six months lying still?”
Void: “Yep.”
Juan Chow: “Oh my…”
Null shakes his head.
Null: “NO! The doctors roll him over and pump the feces out from his anus with a tube.”
Juan Chow spits his food out. Null laughs and Void shakes his head. The two agree on something and superkick Null out of the door of the restaurant, thrusting him into a pile of garbage that comes from the diner. They go back to their table and eat.
Void: “Anyways… me and Null have decided to get back into the wrestling thing. Or, we never really left since Mom and Dad decided to pull us from it last year and such, but we argued with them and eventually ran off. British Wrestling Alliance has decided to have a one-night-only show or something this weekend and we’re wrestling it against our last opponents.”
Juan Chow: “Oh? Who’s that?”
Void: “Johnny Legend and Nic E Dangerously.”
Juan Chow spits out his food.
Void: “Yeah, I figure that we stand a good chance against them, don’t you think?”
Juan Chow: “If you have enough sushi, yes. But in reality, no… you’re asses will be handed to you in doggy-bags.”
Void: “Stop being crazy, Juan. Me and Null became Tag Team Champions in this federation, we have already defeated Nic E Dangerously and Christian Michaels once before in this federation. Except this time Dangerously is teaming up with another one of those hair-care share-bears people who are just in there for something comedic. We’re bound to win.”
Juan Chow: “Mmm-hmm.”
Null enters the diner with garbage and sorts all over him. He walks over to the table and takes a seat between Juan and Void, who soon plug their noses.
Void: “Oh man, I haven’t saw anything look and smell that bad since I met Hugh Grant!”
---
Void is standing in the autograph line at a Wal-Mart in England with a cheerful smile on his face. As he reaches the end of the line and stands before the table, his expression fades to disappointed look.
Hugh Grant: “Well, hello there, lad! Would you like an autograph, mate?”
Void reaches in his pocket and pulls out a comb and Listerine Pocket-Packs, setting them on the table before Hugh. He looks at them in question.
Void: “Next time you should take an autograph session a bit more serious with better preparation. Combing your hair would be great, as would a shave. And your breath, it smells like the taste of garbage: salty, thick and sticky with a hint of lime. And no, not one of those fresh limes that you would find at the supermarket. A lime that you would find behind the refrigerator on a hot, Monday afternoon that’s covered in years of dust.”
He walks away.
---
Null and Void are outside of Juan Chow's Diner with him and they walk down the alley. Null comes across a Pepsi Can and he puts his toes underneath it. He launces it in the air and does a pele-kick, sending the can halfway across Tokyo, landing on top of some building.
Void: “I'm in the mood to fight somebody.”
Juan Chow uppercuts Void in the stomach, flipping him where he stands. Void lands on his back and he's pulled up by the scruff of the neck, soon thrown into a few trash-cans that line the alley. Juan bounces off of the walls and does a backflip, stomping on Void's midsection. Feces burst out of his anus and tear a hole in his pants while vomit comes out of his mouth with all of his internal organs. He steps off of him and grabs Void's arm, lifting him up.
Juan Chow: “So you want to fight?!”
Void pokes Juan in the eye and lifts him up with both arms, throwing him into the brick wall, leaving an indent in the side from the impactful throw. Void recollects his organs and puts them back in their place, giving him some energy to continue his fight. He spins a web out of his wrist and he hooks it onto the roof of a building, pulling himself to the top, peering down at Juan. Void does a magic trick, creating two of himself. They attack Juan at the same time but from two different areas. Juan then realizes one is Null, so he kicks him in the nuts and grabs onto Void's nipples, throwing him overhead and through a manhole in the road.
Null: “Oh man! This totally reminds me of the time I went gambling in Vegas!”
---
Null sits around a Poker table with several other people in Las Vegas, hoping to have a good time and even to strike it rich. He looks around at all of the players, eyeing them cautiously. Then he sees Kenny Justice standing there, winking at him. Null's eyes widen and Kenny starts to stroke his card.
Null: “What?”
Void: “King me.”
(10 minutes later)
Kenny Justice lays in a bed under the covers, giggling. Null is underneath, crying, as he sees Kenny put his red chips on top of Null's black chips. Kenny starts to pile them all and he laughs like a maniac.
---
Null and Void sit at a bus-stop and play rock-paper-scissors and as you would've guessed, they can't outsmart one another. One is trying to use a diamond, one's trying to use dynamite and somebody decided to use a gun which only resulted in people running away, screaming.
Null: “Johnny Legend and Nic E Dangerously better watch out. We got the skills.”
Void: “For sure.”
Juan Chow: “That’s my sushi, assholes!”
They climb to their feet and head back over to their chow-mein, continuing to eat it.
Null: “So Juan, what’s new with you? We haven’t talked to you in over a year.”
Void: “Yeah, and the people… they haven’t heard from us in almost a year.”
Juan Chow: “Well, I opened my new restaurant… another Juan Chow’s Chinese Eatery. This time the Asian Mafia isn’t bothering me, neither are the Chongs or Chews.”
The two nod their heads.
Void: “Did you hear about Tachi?”
Juan Chow: “Nope. How’s he doing?”
Void: “He’s in a coma.”
Juan chokes on his sushi and spits it out in surprise.
Juan Chow: “What? How? Was it the Mongolians? Please tell me it was the Mongolians, I’ve been looking for a reason to kick their asses for so long now!”
Void shakes his head.
Void: “No, no… me and Null, we wrestle in a federation called Michigan State Wrestling and about half a year ago, Tachi got in some motor-vehicle wreck of some sorts and has been in a coma ever since.”
Juan Chow: “Six months lying still?”
Void: “Yep.”
Juan Chow: “Oh my…”
Null shakes his head.
Null: “NO! The doctors roll him over and pump the feces out from his anus with a tube.”
Juan Chow spits his food out. Null laughs and Void shakes his head. The two agree on something and superkick Null out of the door of the restaurant, thrusting him into a pile of garbage that comes from the diner. They go back to their table and eat.
Void: “Anyways… me and Null have decided to get back into the wrestling thing. Or, we never really left since Mom and Dad decided to pull us from it last year and such, but we argued with them and eventually ran off. British Wrestling Alliance has decided to have a one-night-only show or something this weekend and we’re wrestling it against our last opponents.”
Juan Chow: “Oh? Who’s that?”
Void: “Johnny Legend and Nic E Dangerously.”
Juan Chow spits out his food.
Void: “Yeah, I figure that we stand a good chance against them, don’t you think?”
Juan Chow: “If you have enough sushi, yes. But in reality, no… you’re asses will be handed to you in doggy-bags.”
Void: “Stop being crazy, Juan. Me and Null became Tag Team Champions in this federation, we have already defeated Nic E Dangerously and Christian Michaels once before in this federation. Except this time Dangerously is teaming up with another one of those hair-care share-bears people who are just in there for something comedic. We’re bound to win.”
Juan Chow: “Mmm-hmm.”
Null enters the diner with garbage and sorts all over him. He walks over to the table and takes a seat between Juan and Void, who soon plug their noses.
Void: “Oh man, I haven’t saw anything look and smell that bad since I met Hugh Grant!”
---
Void is standing in the autograph line at a Wal-Mart in England with a cheerful smile on his face. As he reaches the end of the line and stands before the table, his expression fades to disappointed look.
Hugh Grant: “Well, hello there, lad! Would you like an autograph, mate?”
Void reaches in his pocket and pulls out a comb and Listerine Pocket-Packs, setting them on the table before Hugh. He looks at them in question.
Void: “Next time you should take an autograph session a bit more serious with better preparation. Combing your hair would be great, as would a shave. And your breath, it smells like the taste of garbage: salty, thick and sticky with a hint of lime. And no, not one of those fresh limes that you would find at the supermarket. A lime that you would find behind the refrigerator on a hot, Monday afternoon that’s covered in years of dust.”
He walks away.
---
Null and Void are outside of Juan Chow's Diner with him and they walk down the alley. Null comes across a Pepsi Can and he puts his toes underneath it. He launces it in the air and does a pele-kick, sending the can halfway across Tokyo, landing on top of some building.
Void: “I'm in the mood to fight somebody.”
Juan Chow uppercuts Void in the stomach, flipping him where he stands. Void lands on his back and he's pulled up by the scruff of the neck, soon thrown into a few trash-cans that line the alley. Juan bounces off of the walls and does a backflip, stomping on Void's midsection. Feces burst out of his anus and tear a hole in his pants while vomit comes out of his mouth with all of his internal organs. He steps off of him and grabs Void's arm, lifting him up.
Juan Chow: “So you want to fight?!”
Void pokes Juan in the eye and lifts him up with both arms, throwing him into the brick wall, leaving an indent in the side from the impactful throw. Void recollects his organs and puts them back in their place, giving him some energy to continue his fight. He spins a web out of his wrist and he hooks it onto the roof of a building, pulling himself to the top, peering down at Juan. Void does a magic trick, creating two of himself. They attack Juan at the same time but from two different areas. Juan then realizes one is Null, so he kicks him in the nuts and grabs onto Void's nipples, throwing him overhead and through a manhole in the road.
Null: “Oh man! This totally reminds me of the time I went gambling in Vegas!”
---
Null sits around a Poker table with several other people in Las Vegas, hoping to have a good time and even to strike it rich. He looks around at all of the players, eyeing them cautiously. Then he sees Kenny Justice standing there, winking at him. Null's eyes widen and Kenny starts to stroke his card.
Null: “What?”
Void: “King me.”
(10 minutes later)
Kenny Justice lays in a bed under the covers, giggling. Null is underneath, crying, as he sees Kenny put his red chips on top of Null's black chips. Kenny starts to pile them all and he laughs like a maniac.
---
Null and Void sit at a bus-stop and play rock-paper-scissors and as you would've guessed, they can't outsmart one another. One is trying to use a diamond, one's trying to use dynamite and somebody decided to use a gun which only resulted in people running away, screaming.
Null: “Johnny Legend and Nic E Dangerously better watch out. We got the skills.”
Void: “For sure.”