Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 16:03:12 GMT -4
[ M00P sits at their computer, browsing FWA dot com. They are reading Deus' updated profile, then they shake their fist at the monitor. ]
Jesse James Miller: "Deus is making me mad, why is that somebody as young as him has more attention and air-time than people who are older than him and shit? Me and Michael are two talented wrestlers that can kick anybody's ass, but do you see the Reckless Title around our waist? Pfft, no and it's because Deus is hogging up everything by being a television-hogger. It's not funny, Deusy, it's not cool. So do you know what me and Michael are going to do about it? Beat you so bad this Conflict that you're going to trade air-times with us. We want to be where you are now; beating tough superstars for their Titles, getting matches on a regular basis, being able to cut awesome promos and kiss that Heather Wallace girl. Me and Michael know that we're going to get around to doing that sooner or later, because usually everybody gets around to doing that to her, or so we've been told by Davidson. But doesn't he lie... like, a lot? To everybody for no apparent reason? Either way, that's cool. We don't hate him for it or anything. We just trust him more. Lying makes you trust a person more than what you used to trust them. Once you catch them in a lie, you want to trust them more because it makes you want to know them a bit more and find out if everything else is a ballsac lie-uh."
[ Michael wonders for a moment. ]
Michael Lee Miller: "Umm, yeah. Deus makes me mad because he is Australian. Incase you didn't know, I hate people who come from Third-World Countries. They think that they are doing a good cause for their country and shit by travelling back and forth from home, but really they are doing nothing more than polluting and killing everything, using up their country's money that they have saved for food. It's no wonder that they are whining for food every now and then. What's wrong with you, Deusy Douchebag? You think it's funny to use up every single cent that Australia has? You see, me and my brother Jesse are from Canada. Want to know the last time we were there? July! We hate going to Canada, once we find a place to be... we stay there forever. When we wrestled in Michigan State Wrestling, we practically lived in the state. We never left for anything, we said 'Fuck you Christmas, we're staying here' and that's exactly what we said. We haven't gone to Canada in a very long time, and you know, it can stay that way. It doesn't matter to us. Defiance is our new home and shit. We don't buy plane tickets, so you shouldn't either, Deus-uh."
[ Learn from the professionals. ]
Jesse James Miller: "Sorry to burst your bubble and shit, Michael... but Deus isn't from a Third-World Country like Indonesia or Ethiopia. He's from Australia, and really, that place is fine. They have money, they can support themselves. They don't need any country to come in with reinforcements or to drop off food and shit, they can supply it for themselves much like Canada, America and England can. Mexico and China, I'm sorry and shit... you guys really suck. Not just because it takes a whole lot out of your budget to help your people or anything, but because your flags are so unoriginal. Seriously though, what kind of country has thing in the middle with red and green squares at either sides of it? Oh and China, I wouldn't laugh if I were you. You guys just have a fucking red dot in the middle of yours. It looks like a damned hemmorhoid or something. Isn't that something to be proud of, huh? The hemmorhoid country of the World. It wouldn't doubt me, though. Chow Mein Lotion can probably create them all over your body, even on your face-uh."
[ Ouch, burn. Fade. ]
Jesse James Miller: "Deus is making me mad, why is that somebody as young as him has more attention and air-time than people who are older than him and shit? Me and Michael are two talented wrestlers that can kick anybody's ass, but do you see the Reckless Title around our waist? Pfft, no and it's because Deus is hogging up everything by being a television-hogger. It's not funny, Deusy, it's not cool. So do you know what me and Michael are going to do about it? Beat you so bad this Conflict that you're going to trade air-times with us. We want to be where you are now; beating tough superstars for their Titles, getting matches on a regular basis, being able to cut awesome promos and kiss that Heather Wallace girl. Me and Michael know that we're going to get around to doing that sooner or later, because usually everybody gets around to doing that to her, or so we've been told by Davidson. But doesn't he lie... like, a lot? To everybody for no apparent reason? Either way, that's cool. We don't hate him for it or anything. We just trust him more. Lying makes you trust a person more than what you used to trust them. Once you catch them in a lie, you want to trust them more because it makes you want to know them a bit more and find out if everything else is a ballsac lie-uh."
[ Michael wonders for a moment. ]
Michael Lee Miller: "Umm, yeah. Deus makes me mad because he is Australian. Incase you didn't know, I hate people who come from Third-World Countries. They think that they are doing a good cause for their country and shit by travelling back and forth from home, but really they are doing nothing more than polluting and killing everything, using up their country's money that they have saved for food. It's no wonder that they are whining for food every now and then. What's wrong with you, Deusy Douchebag? You think it's funny to use up every single cent that Australia has? You see, me and my brother Jesse are from Canada. Want to know the last time we were there? July! We hate going to Canada, once we find a place to be... we stay there forever. When we wrestled in Michigan State Wrestling, we practically lived in the state. We never left for anything, we said 'Fuck you Christmas, we're staying here' and that's exactly what we said. We haven't gone to Canada in a very long time, and you know, it can stay that way. It doesn't matter to us. Defiance is our new home and shit. We don't buy plane tickets, so you shouldn't either, Deus-uh."
[ Learn from the professionals. ]
Jesse James Miller: "Sorry to burst your bubble and shit, Michael... but Deus isn't from a Third-World Country like Indonesia or Ethiopia. He's from Australia, and really, that place is fine. They have money, they can support themselves. They don't need any country to come in with reinforcements or to drop off food and shit, they can supply it for themselves much like Canada, America and England can. Mexico and China, I'm sorry and shit... you guys really suck. Not just because it takes a whole lot out of your budget to help your people or anything, but because your flags are so unoriginal. Seriously though, what kind of country has thing in the middle with red and green squares at either sides of it? Oh and China, I wouldn't laugh if I were you. You guys just have a fucking red dot in the middle of yours. It looks like a damned hemmorhoid or something. Isn't that something to be proud of, huh? The hemmorhoid country of the World. It wouldn't doubt me, though. Chow Mein Lotion can probably create them all over your body, even on your face-uh."
[ Ouch, burn. Fade. ]