Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 16:06:34 GMT -4
[ Jesse stands in the parking lot wearing a muscle shirt, torn jeans and cowboy boots. He sits on the hood of a low-rider with his arms folded, staring at the camera through the lens of his shades. The cameras come closer to him and he lowers his shades, staring at us with a grin. His teeth sparkle in the sunlight of the Defiance sunshine. Beside him is a Mexican man, who looks to be in his early or mid-twenties. He looks to be full of energy, so something might be going down soon. ]
Jesse James: "You might be wondering why I'm sitting here on a low-rider, or you might just be wondering why in the hell I'm wearing cowboy boots. You know, there's no specific answer to that question; but I'll let you think of one. That is up for another discussion, but let's move onto our main discussion and what we have to settle at the moment. I'm here with one of the many illegal Mexican immigrants in the United States: Pepe Eduardo Zantana, or in his prefered name: Pez. Pez wants to stay in America like many others, and I'm going to give him a shot at his dream. You see, I'm not a uptight person. So Pez, here's the deal. You want to hear it and shit? I'm going to give you a chance."
Pez: "Yeah, esse. I wanna stay 'ere in 'Merica!"
Jesse James: "That's the spirit, you've got some American style in you. All right, here's what you have to do. Seeing how you're from Mexico and shit, you guys can do just about everything you want to. If you want to be American citizens, you can do it. If you want to be gangsters and thugs, you can do it. If you want to make tacos and nachos, I'll be waiting for them. But this is different, however I know you can do it. What I want you to do is transform into Jessica Simpson and dance all over my car and shit, all right? Look over there, I've got a bucket of suds waiting for you. The sponges are in the trunk."
[ Pez rubs his chin, raising an eyebrow. ]
Pez: "Who?"
Jesse James: "You know, the girl who goes out on a public affair?"
Pez: "What?"
Jesse James: "Uhh... she'll take your breath away?"
Pez: "When?"
Jesse James: "Her boots are made for walking?"
Pez: "Where?"
Jesse James: "SHE THINKS TUNA IS CHICKEN!"
Pez: "Why?"
[ Jesse slaps his forehead. ]
Jesse James: "All right, in the simplest words that I can put it in... become a blonde, show off a lot of cleavage by wearing a skimpy bikini and dance on my car while you're soaked in those suds in the bucket. If you do that for me, then I'll let you stay in America. If not, then it's across the border for you, dude. And you have to turn into a woman with low intelligence or else it won't work right. Got it?"
Pez: "O'no, holmes... I don' think th't I c'n do th't f'r you... I mean, I'm only man."
Jesse James: "Fucker, it's back to the third-world country for you! BORDER PATROL!"
[ Reaching into his pocket, Jesse pulls out a whistle and blows in it. Guards surround the low-rider and grab Pez, throwing him into a dog-kennel. Once it's locked up, Pez starts screaming in Mexican and they walk away with him. Jesse stands there, shaking his head and he kicks the bucket of suds away from himself. He looks very annoyed right now but on the other hand he's sort of happy. He just made a Mexican go back home. ]
Jesse James: "Things may look bad for me now, but that's all about to turn around soon enough. Because on Impulse, Heather Wallace is going to lose to me in the submission match. You see, I'm a person that is hard to submit. I don't lose at all, I don't lose my temper... I don't lose my cool... I don't lose my patience... I don't lose anything. Unless you're stupid, that is. In Pez's case; he was stupid and shit. I lost everything to him and he paid the price, so he's going back home to Mexico. I don't feel bad for myself and the truth is, I don't care what he's going to do next. Maybe if he wanted to be American, he should have been born here. That would have solved all of our problems and shit, but whatever... if you don't know who Jessica Simpsons is and if you can't be like her to stay in this country, then get the HELL out of here. Please. Now Heather, I hope that you're ready for Impulse, I hope that you're ready for the beating of a lifetime because I'm going to show you exactly what happens when you mess with a member of our group, Kiju Derf ZXC. But you didn't mess with one... you messed with two, foo'! And because of that, you're going to mess with three, tonight. Michael's going to be brought into this for no exact reason except to make you hate him, too. Because why hate me and Davidson and not hate Michael and shit? He's just as much a part of Davidson's group as I am."
[ He nods. ]
Jesse James: "So expect to lose this week, Heather. You're bound to. I'm a Miller."
[ Fade. ]
Jesse James: "You might be wondering why I'm sitting here on a low-rider, or you might just be wondering why in the hell I'm wearing cowboy boots. You know, there's no specific answer to that question; but I'll let you think of one. That is up for another discussion, but let's move onto our main discussion and what we have to settle at the moment. I'm here with one of the many illegal Mexican immigrants in the United States: Pepe Eduardo Zantana, or in his prefered name: Pez. Pez wants to stay in America like many others, and I'm going to give him a shot at his dream. You see, I'm not a uptight person. So Pez, here's the deal. You want to hear it and shit? I'm going to give you a chance."
Pez: "Yeah, esse. I wanna stay 'ere in 'Merica!"
Jesse James: "That's the spirit, you've got some American style in you. All right, here's what you have to do. Seeing how you're from Mexico and shit, you guys can do just about everything you want to. If you want to be American citizens, you can do it. If you want to be gangsters and thugs, you can do it. If you want to make tacos and nachos, I'll be waiting for them. But this is different, however I know you can do it. What I want you to do is transform into Jessica Simpson and dance all over my car and shit, all right? Look over there, I've got a bucket of suds waiting for you. The sponges are in the trunk."
[ Pez rubs his chin, raising an eyebrow. ]
Pez: "Who?"
Jesse James: "You know, the girl who goes out on a public affair?"
Pez: "What?"
Jesse James: "Uhh... she'll take your breath away?"
Pez: "When?"
Jesse James: "Her boots are made for walking?"
Pez: "Where?"
Jesse James: "SHE THINKS TUNA IS CHICKEN!"
Pez: "Why?"
[ Jesse slaps his forehead. ]
Jesse James: "All right, in the simplest words that I can put it in... become a blonde, show off a lot of cleavage by wearing a skimpy bikini and dance on my car while you're soaked in those suds in the bucket. If you do that for me, then I'll let you stay in America. If not, then it's across the border for you, dude. And you have to turn into a woman with low intelligence or else it won't work right. Got it?"
Pez: "O'no, holmes... I don' think th't I c'n do th't f'r you... I mean, I'm only man."
Jesse James: "Fucker, it's back to the third-world country for you! BORDER PATROL!"
[ Reaching into his pocket, Jesse pulls out a whistle and blows in it. Guards surround the low-rider and grab Pez, throwing him into a dog-kennel. Once it's locked up, Pez starts screaming in Mexican and they walk away with him. Jesse stands there, shaking his head and he kicks the bucket of suds away from himself. He looks very annoyed right now but on the other hand he's sort of happy. He just made a Mexican go back home. ]
Jesse James: "Things may look bad for me now, but that's all about to turn around soon enough. Because on Impulse, Heather Wallace is going to lose to me in the submission match. You see, I'm a person that is hard to submit. I don't lose at all, I don't lose my temper... I don't lose my cool... I don't lose my patience... I don't lose anything. Unless you're stupid, that is. In Pez's case; he was stupid and shit. I lost everything to him and he paid the price, so he's going back home to Mexico. I don't feel bad for myself and the truth is, I don't care what he's going to do next. Maybe if he wanted to be American, he should have been born here. That would have solved all of our problems and shit, but whatever... if you don't know who Jessica Simpsons is and if you can't be like her to stay in this country, then get the HELL out of here. Please. Now Heather, I hope that you're ready for Impulse, I hope that you're ready for the beating of a lifetime because I'm going to show you exactly what happens when you mess with a member of our group, Kiju Derf ZXC. But you didn't mess with one... you messed with two, foo'! And because of that, you're going to mess with three, tonight. Michael's going to be brought into this for no exact reason except to make you hate him, too. Because why hate me and Davidson and not hate Michael and shit? He's just as much a part of Davidson's group as I am."
[ He nods. ]
Jesse James: "So expect to lose this week, Heather. You're bound to. I'm a Miller."
[ Fade. ]