Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 16:12:43 GMT -4
[ Michael’s been called crazy for most of his life, but the weird thing is that he never sees anything crazy about himself. He views himself as a normal human being who has a lot of potential in life. He thinks that he could become something big and something cool like a doctor or even a dentist, but the reason why he doesn’t become one is because of the work-load. As a wrestler, he only has to work once a week and that is on a Monday night. Battles aren’t hard nor are they fatiguing, but going to work at an office is. ]
[ On Michael’s spare-time, he finds entertaining things to do. What kind of things, you might ask? Well, you might find them strange or you might not, but he visits friends that people rarely ever see. And those who have seen these friends and told people about them… well… they have never, ever been the same again. They no longer visit these friends or even speak of them. All that they do is sit quietly in an asylum called the Nut House. So this should give you a pretty good idea of who Michael’s friends are, and if you aren’t too sure yet… let’s go for a brief visit. ]
[ Venturing through the woods, Michael hikes with Jesse. Both are carrying large backpacks that are strapped to them, filled with supplies that they might need such as water, food, spare clothing, and etcetera. Michael stops before a large oak-tree and there is a miniature door at the bottom between large roots. He drops down to his knees and flicks his finger on it a couple of times. After a few seconds, the door opens and three elves step out, soon revealed to be Snap, Crackle and Pop. ]
Pop; “Jesus! Did you have to knock so fuckin’ loud?”
Michael Lee; “Sorry about that, I’ll be lighter next time-uh.”
Pop; “You better be lighter next time! Hey, you didn’t lose your uh’s, yet. Why so?”
Michael Lee; “I guess that I haven’t been doing the exercises correctly-uh.”
Snap; “Are Jesse’s gone?”
Jesse James; “Yeah, mine are gone. All gone. Thanks, guys.”
Pop; “Oh, don’t thank us. Thank the Smurfs.”
Crackle; “Yeah. They totally annihilated the Tetley elves and stole those miracle tea-bags from them. They have even snatched some of their latest stuff, Mean Green Tea. Have you guys heard of it? Apparently instead of filling the bags with natural herbs, they’ve filled it with the illegal herbs. Marijuana. That stuff would be a killer seller, but we’ve got it now and we’ll make a profit off of it. Then we might even put it in the Rice Crispies, who knows.”
Jesse James; “Man, all of you elves are so evil. On the television you all look so normal and innocent, but we can see your true colors by ourselves. It’s sort of strange. Why aren’t you guys polite much anymore?”
Snap; “Polite? Why should we? We’ve been alive for well over twenty fuckin’ years, we’re hell of a lot older than you two. So what if we curse, drink, smoke and break the law? Elves are people, too!”
Michael Lee; “Not really, the government doesn’t recognize you guys as people, or even living beings-uh.”
Pop; “Oh?”
Michael Lee; “Yeah, that’s the truth-uh.”
Pop; “It’s fuckin’ war.”
[ Snap, Crackle and Pop hurry into their tree and shut the door. The three sit around their table and try to devise a plan to overwhelm the government and soon take over the world. It’s no doubt that they have the power to do that, so don’t underestimate them. They can do just about anything they want. So watch out for Rice Crispies for awhile, people. They might be contaminated with a little something-something, if you know what I mean. Continuing, the Millers travel down a trail in the woods, looking to find another one of Michael’s friends. He stops at a patch of clovers and kicks at them, soon knocking Lucky out of the patch. Lucky puts his hands on his hips, pointing at Michael. ]
Lucky; “What t’hell w’s THAT for, ‘uh? Can’t YOU see th’t I was in there doin’ m’own busin’ss? Why, I ought to kick y’square in the NUTS!”
Michael Lee; “Whoa! Sorry, dude. I didn’t know that I disturbed you. So anyways, what’s going on-uh?”
Lucky; “Well, I was watching MONTEL before you DISTURBED me. This episode is really FUCKED up. And it’s FUCKED up BAD, too.”
Michael Lee; “What’s it about-uh?”
Lucky; “They’ve got MARRIED COUPLES who have CHILDREN… but it’s soon REVEALED that they aren’t only HUSBAND and WIFE… but they are also BROTHER and SISTER!”
Jesse James; “Wow, that’s messed. I don’t know what to do. Laugh or feel sorry.”
Lucky; “Why bother DOING anything? It just TEACHES you a LESSON: go for PEOPLE of DIFFERENT races.”
Michael Lee; “Why do that-uh?”
Lucky; “Simple; you’re NOT related to ANY of THEM.”
Jesse James; “That’s smart, actually. Or just always wear a condom.”
Lucky; “Whatever. At least I don’t HAVE to WORRY. There’s NOT another leprechaun LIVING in THIS district. So I can do WHOMEVER I want, WHEREVER I want. Did I tell you that I once SCORED with Pamela Anderson?”
Michael Lee; “Yeah. Millions of times-uh.”
Lucky; “I told you THAT millions of times or I did HER millions of times?”
Michael Lee; “Both-uh.”
Lucky; “Meh. I can’t HELP it. I can CRAWL through her AREA.”
Jesse James; “Kinky.”
Michael Lee; “Well, we best be heading off. Talk to you later, Lucky-uh.”
Lucky; “See ya, kids!”
[ Lucky hops back into his patch of clovers while the Millers walk off. After walking for awhile, they come across the Kool-Aid guy. Nobody really knows his name, everybody around here and everywhere else calls him the Kool-Aid guy. So it eventually became a permanent name. ]
Kool-Aid Guy; “Ooh yeah! How’s it goin’, guuuuys?”
Jesse James; “Cool, I guess.”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Cool or kool?”
Jesse James; “Either one.”
Kool-Aid Guy; “No, there’s a difference. If you’re cool then you’re just normal. If you’re kool then you’re ecstatic, you’re awesome and such.”
Jesse James; “I don’t know.”
Kool-Aid Guy; “…You’re kool, then.”
Jesse James; “I guess so.”
[ Kool-Aid Guy pauses. ]
Kool-Aid Guy; “I don’t like you. So Michael, what’s up? Kool or what?”
Michael Lee; “Yeah, I’m being kool. Just came to visit you. Where were you heading-uh?”
Kool-Aid Guy; “To the supermarket. I need to make some more SUS signs.”
Michael Lee; “You mean SOS signs, right-uh?”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Nope, SUS. Stir Up Singles.”
Michael Lee; “Oh-uh,”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Yep, you just grab a singles… tear it open… pour it in a full water bottle or glass, shake it or stir it… put the garbage in the trash-can… and drink!”
Michael Lee; “What a way to advertise-uh.”
Kool-Aid Guy; “They come in a variety of flavors. Cherry, grape, lemon, orange; you name it.”
Michael Lee; “Do you have apple flavor-uh?”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Nope.”
Michael Lee; “Not interested then-uh.”
[ Kool-Aid Guy looks a bit pissed off. ]
Jesse James; “So Kool-Aid Guy, since all of that liquid is exposed and shit… do birds ever crap in it? Would it hurt if I threw something in there? I always wanted to know. And if you open your mouth, how come it doesn’t come out and spill everywhere, huh? You’re like, the lamest thing ever. I don’t see any vital organ inside of you, not even a heart. You’re just a fuckin’ glass pitcher with a crudely drawn face.”
[ Jesse chuckles. ]
Jesse James; “And when you go to sleep and lay on your side, does it all spill out everywhere and leave your body? You just can’t be filled with juice all of the damn time or else you’d be wasting a small percentage of the World’s water. And I’m wondering, when it rains do you gather it up and make the juice taste a bit more dull and plain? Does the Sun soak it up?”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Stop making fun of me. Michael, I’m leaving. Come here alone, next time.”
[ Kool-Aid Guy leaves all sensitive like. ]
Michael Lee; “Nice one-uh.”
[ Somewhere in Washington D.C., the Millers are being spied on by the government. ]
[ On Michael’s spare-time, he finds entertaining things to do. What kind of things, you might ask? Well, you might find them strange or you might not, but he visits friends that people rarely ever see. And those who have seen these friends and told people about them… well… they have never, ever been the same again. They no longer visit these friends or even speak of them. All that they do is sit quietly in an asylum called the Nut House. So this should give you a pretty good idea of who Michael’s friends are, and if you aren’t too sure yet… let’s go for a brief visit. ]
[ Venturing through the woods, Michael hikes with Jesse. Both are carrying large backpacks that are strapped to them, filled with supplies that they might need such as water, food, spare clothing, and etcetera. Michael stops before a large oak-tree and there is a miniature door at the bottom between large roots. He drops down to his knees and flicks his finger on it a couple of times. After a few seconds, the door opens and three elves step out, soon revealed to be Snap, Crackle and Pop. ]
Pop; “Jesus! Did you have to knock so fuckin’ loud?”
Michael Lee; “Sorry about that, I’ll be lighter next time-uh.”
Pop; “You better be lighter next time! Hey, you didn’t lose your uh’s, yet. Why so?”
Michael Lee; “I guess that I haven’t been doing the exercises correctly-uh.”
Snap; “Are Jesse’s gone?”
Jesse James; “Yeah, mine are gone. All gone. Thanks, guys.”
Pop; “Oh, don’t thank us. Thank the Smurfs.”
Crackle; “Yeah. They totally annihilated the Tetley elves and stole those miracle tea-bags from them. They have even snatched some of their latest stuff, Mean Green Tea. Have you guys heard of it? Apparently instead of filling the bags with natural herbs, they’ve filled it with the illegal herbs. Marijuana. That stuff would be a killer seller, but we’ve got it now and we’ll make a profit off of it. Then we might even put it in the Rice Crispies, who knows.”
Jesse James; “Man, all of you elves are so evil. On the television you all look so normal and innocent, but we can see your true colors by ourselves. It’s sort of strange. Why aren’t you guys polite much anymore?”
Snap; “Polite? Why should we? We’ve been alive for well over twenty fuckin’ years, we’re hell of a lot older than you two. So what if we curse, drink, smoke and break the law? Elves are people, too!”
Michael Lee; “Not really, the government doesn’t recognize you guys as people, or even living beings-uh.”
Pop; “Oh?”
Michael Lee; “Yeah, that’s the truth-uh.”
Pop; “It’s fuckin’ war.”
[ Snap, Crackle and Pop hurry into their tree and shut the door. The three sit around their table and try to devise a plan to overwhelm the government and soon take over the world. It’s no doubt that they have the power to do that, so don’t underestimate them. They can do just about anything they want. So watch out for Rice Crispies for awhile, people. They might be contaminated with a little something-something, if you know what I mean. Continuing, the Millers travel down a trail in the woods, looking to find another one of Michael’s friends. He stops at a patch of clovers and kicks at them, soon knocking Lucky out of the patch. Lucky puts his hands on his hips, pointing at Michael. ]
Lucky; “What t’hell w’s THAT for, ‘uh? Can’t YOU see th’t I was in there doin’ m’own busin’ss? Why, I ought to kick y’square in the NUTS!”
Michael Lee; “Whoa! Sorry, dude. I didn’t know that I disturbed you. So anyways, what’s going on-uh?”
Lucky; “Well, I was watching MONTEL before you DISTURBED me. This episode is really FUCKED up. And it’s FUCKED up BAD, too.”
Michael Lee; “What’s it about-uh?”
Lucky; “They’ve got MARRIED COUPLES who have CHILDREN… but it’s soon REVEALED that they aren’t only HUSBAND and WIFE… but they are also BROTHER and SISTER!”
Jesse James; “Wow, that’s messed. I don’t know what to do. Laugh or feel sorry.”
Lucky; “Why bother DOING anything? It just TEACHES you a LESSON: go for PEOPLE of DIFFERENT races.”
Michael Lee; “Why do that-uh?”
Lucky; “Simple; you’re NOT related to ANY of THEM.”
Jesse James; “That’s smart, actually. Or just always wear a condom.”
Lucky; “Whatever. At least I don’t HAVE to WORRY. There’s NOT another leprechaun LIVING in THIS district. So I can do WHOMEVER I want, WHEREVER I want. Did I tell you that I once SCORED with Pamela Anderson?”
Michael Lee; “Yeah. Millions of times-uh.”
Lucky; “I told you THAT millions of times or I did HER millions of times?”
Michael Lee; “Both-uh.”
Lucky; “Meh. I can’t HELP it. I can CRAWL through her AREA.”
Jesse James; “Kinky.”
Michael Lee; “Well, we best be heading off. Talk to you later, Lucky-uh.”
Lucky; “See ya, kids!”
[ Lucky hops back into his patch of clovers while the Millers walk off. After walking for awhile, they come across the Kool-Aid guy. Nobody really knows his name, everybody around here and everywhere else calls him the Kool-Aid guy. So it eventually became a permanent name. ]
Kool-Aid Guy; “Ooh yeah! How’s it goin’, guuuuys?”
Jesse James; “Cool, I guess.”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Cool or kool?”
Jesse James; “Either one.”
Kool-Aid Guy; “No, there’s a difference. If you’re cool then you’re just normal. If you’re kool then you’re ecstatic, you’re awesome and such.”
Jesse James; “I don’t know.”
Kool-Aid Guy; “…You’re kool, then.”
Jesse James; “I guess so.”
[ Kool-Aid Guy pauses. ]
Kool-Aid Guy; “I don’t like you. So Michael, what’s up? Kool or what?”
Michael Lee; “Yeah, I’m being kool. Just came to visit you. Where were you heading-uh?”
Kool-Aid Guy; “To the supermarket. I need to make some more SUS signs.”
Michael Lee; “You mean SOS signs, right-uh?”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Nope, SUS. Stir Up Singles.”
Michael Lee; “Oh-uh,”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Yep, you just grab a singles… tear it open… pour it in a full water bottle or glass, shake it or stir it… put the garbage in the trash-can… and drink!”
Michael Lee; “What a way to advertise-uh.”
Kool-Aid Guy; “They come in a variety of flavors. Cherry, grape, lemon, orange; you name it.”
Michael Lee; “Do you have apple flavor-uh?”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Nope.”
Michael Lee; “Not interested then-uh.”
[ Kool-Aid Guy looks a bit pissed off. ]
Jesse James; “So Kool-Aid Guy, since all of that liquid is exposed and shit… do birds ever crap in it? Would it hurt if I threw something in there? I always wanted to know. And if you open your mouth, how come it doesn’t come out and spill everywhere, huh? You’re like, the lamest thing ever. I don’t see any vital organ inside of you, not even a heart. You’re just a fuckin’ glass pitcher with a crudely drawn face.”
[ Jesse chuckles. ]
Jesse James; “And when you go to sleep and lay on your side, does it all spill out everywhere and leave your body? You just can’t be filled with juice all of the damn time or else you’d be wasting a small percentage of the World’s water. And I’m wondering, when it rains do you gather it up and make the juice taste a bit more dull and plain? Does the Sun soak it up?”
Kool-Aid Guy; “Stop making fun of me. Michael, I’m leaving. Come here alone, next time.”
[ Kool-Aid Guy leaves all sensitive like. ]
Michael Lee; “Nice one-uh.”
[ Somewhere in Washington D.C., the Millers are being spied on by the government. ]