Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 16:16:26 GMT -4
[ Tied up in an interrogation room, Michael squirms in his chair. His knuckles turn an unhealthy white as he balls his hand into a fist, tugging his arm as he tries to break the rope with the strength of his arms but it’s just no use. The government has an invincible kind of rope, one that not even the strongest person living could break if they tried. Agents circle the oldest Miller child with cattle prods in their hands. One agent presses it against Michael’s stomach, shocking him with many volts of electricity. Michael lowers his head, allowing his hair to cover his face to hide away tears of pain. One of the agents grabs his hair, pulling his head back. He glares at Michael in the eyes and gives him a backhand slap. ]
Agent One; “Now tell us… what are all of these creatures up to?”
Michael Lee; “I don’t know what you’re talking about-uh.”
Agent One; “You KNOW what we’re talking about. We saw you talking to the Rice Crispies elves, Lucky the Leprechaun and the Kool-Aid Guy. Now Mister Michael Lee Miller, if you don’t give us the information that we want… you’re going to suffer.”
Michael Lee; “I’d rather suffer than tell you people anything-uh.”
[ The agents then chuckle and simultaneously they press the cattle prods into him, shocking him. He twitches at instant contact with the farm tool. Michael shakes his head, screaming as they try to bring out some information from him. But he won’t tell them anything, he’d rather die. ]
Michael Lee; “What the HELL is wrong with you? What could you do with a couple of elves, a leprechaun and a glass pitcher, anyways? You’re all corrupt and you make no sense, whatsoever. Just die-uh.”
Agent Two; “Oh yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? But listen, it’s not going to be that way. We’re not going to hurt those friends of yours or anything like that, we just want to know… what is their purpose? What do they want to do? Hell… Mister Michael Lee Miller, we may even negotiate with them and back them up if they need any help. We just want answers and you’re the man… who can give them… to us.”
Michael Lee; “No-uh.”
Agent One; “You want to be like that? Here, this is what we will do… we’ll do the same thing to you like we have done to the other guys before you… we’ll throw you in the nuthouse, leave you in there to live in a sea of sorrow. You won’t have no way back into the real world, so you best be packing your stuff… you’re going to die in there.”
Michael Lee; “Fine… is it answers that you want? Then all right, it’s answers that you’re going to get. But don’t expect me to pay my taxes, fill out needed information or do any of that stuff from now on… because I won’t. The Kool-Aid guy, he poses no threat in any of this. The only thing he poses as is a cool person, an aspirant or even a hopeful. His whole laid-back attitude; fake. At his home he’s really one to study, make dinner and read books. He just needs to hang out with a new crowd, that’s all-uh.”
Agent One; “So shall we leave him alone or what?”
Michael Lee; “Well, if you want to make friends with him by all means do it. But if not, then please… leave him alone-uh.”
[ Both agents nod their head while people behind the glass window in the interrogation room write things down about this. So far, the Kool-Aid Guy seems like a creature that they could get along with. Maybe he could run for their next President, even. ]
Michael Lee; “As for the Rice Crispies elves, they were bad from the get-go. I mean, those three are bad as can be. Rude and they have no manners, whatsoever. Just the other day they argued with me and screamed in my face. Here’s an inside scoop, and don’t say it was me, but they were planning to wage war on you guys and even overthrow America by doing something to their cereals. So if you want to do something to them, I wouldn’t care. I would support your decision, through and through-uh.”
Agent Two; “Thank you, Michael. Those Rice Crispies elves don’t really look like the type to be trusted, either. For so long they have been at the top of the cereal market and we’ve been quite skeptic about their tactics and ways. I mean, they can’t do all of that on their own. We were thinking that they tortured people or even tarnished other cereals until they were seen as the best around.”
Michael Lee; “Oh yeah, they did do that. Their cereal is nothing but plain ol’ nicotine that is bleached to match the texture and color of grain. No wonder it’s so addictive! You think that’s real wheat? Hell, it’s barely 3.1415926535897932384626433832795 percent of wheat and that’s saying something-uh.”
Agent Two; “And our biggest problem of all… Lucky the Leprechaun. We’ve had a lot of problems with him in the past, more than enough that we can’t even handle. Lucky is the worst creature that we’ve dealt with in a long time. His increase of marshmallows in cereal has been the main reason for the obesity in children through North America. That and… well… other reasons, some that not even we can say. Tell us about him…”
Michael Lee; “Lucky… he’s just a pervert. He’s a bigot, he’s a con artist, he’s a cheater, he’s a fraud, he’s a liar, he’s a thief, he’s a terrorist, he’s an attention-whore and he’s just about every single thing that you can imagine wrapped up inside of a Christmas present-uh.”
[ The agents set their cattle prods on the ground and untie Michael, allowing him to be free. He stands up and dusts himself off, shaking both agents’ hands. At first it seemed like he was doing a bad thing for the world and for his creature friends, but it was a good thing. ]
Agent One; “We’re sorry about all of this, we really are.”
Michael Lee; “No problem. As long as you’re not going to hurt them-uh.”
Agent Two; “Actually, I’m afraid we have to clear their forest. We can’t handle with Lucky’s antics anymore, nor can we prepare for the onslaught of the Rice Crispies elves poisoning of their cereal. We’re terribly sorry, Mister Michael Lee Miller. But they will… have to be nuked.”
[ Michael’s mouth gasps and the agents shrug. After a couple of minutes, we hear an air-raid siren and an explosion off in the distance. Michael bursts out of the room and goes outside of the building, looking at a forest where it’s on fire, black smoke in the air and ashes blowing around in the air. Sorry kids. It was for the better. ]
Agent One; “Now tell us… what are all of these creatures up to?”
Michael Lee; “I don’t know what you’re talking about-uh.”
Agent One; “You KNOW what we’re talking about. We saw you talking to the Rice Crispies elves, Lucky the Leprechaun and the Kool-Aid Guy. Now Mister Michael Lee Miller, if you don’t give us the information that we want… you’re going to suffer.”
Michael Lee; “I’d rather suffer than tell you people anything-uh.”
[ The agents then chuckle and simultaneously they press the cattle prods into him, shocking him. He twitches at instant contact with the farm tool. Michael shakes his head, screaming as they try to bring out some information from him. But he won’t tell them anything, he’d rather die. ]
Michael Lee; “What the HELL is wrong with you? What could you do with a couple of elves, a leprechaun and a glass pitcher, anyways? You’re all corrupt and you make no sense, whatsoever. Just die-uh.”
Agent Two; “Oh yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? But listen, it’s not going to be that way. We’re not going to hurt those friends of yours or anything like that, we just want to know… what is their purpose? What do they want to do? Hell… Mister Michael Lee Miller, we may even negotiate with them and back them up if they need any help. We just want answers and you’re the man… who can give them… to us.”
Michael Lee; “No-uh.”
Agent One; “You want to be like that? Here, this is what we will do… we’ll do the same thing to you like we have done to the other guys before you… we’ll throw you in the nuthouse, leave you in there to live in a sea of sorrow. You won’t have no way back into the real world, so you best be packing your stuff… you’re going to die in there.”
Michael Lee; “Fine… is it answers that you want? Then all right, it’s answers that you’re going to get. But don’t expect me to pay my taxes, fill out needed information or do any of that stuff from now on… because I won’t. The Kool-Aid guy, he poses no threat in any of this. The only thing he poses as is a cool person, an aspirant or even a hopeful. His whole laid-back attitude; fake. At his home he’s really one to study, make dinner and read books. He just needs to hang out with a new crowd, that’s all-uh.”
Agent One; “So shall we leave him alone or what?”
Michael Lee; “Well, if you want to make friends with him by all means do it. But if not, then please… leave him alone-uh.”
[ Both agents nod their head while people behind the glass window in the interrogation room write things down about this. So far, the Kool-Aid Guy seems like a creature that they could get along with. Maybe he could run for their next President, even. ]
Michael Lee; “As for the Rice Crispies elves, they were bad from the get-go. I mean, those three are bad as can be. Rude and they have no manners, whatsoever. Just the other day they argued with me and screamed in my face. Here’s an inside scoop, and don’t say it was me, but they were planning to wage war on you guys and even overthrow America by doing something to their cereals. So if you want to do something to them, I wouldn’t care. I would support your decision, through and through-uh.”
Agent Two; “Thank you, Michael. Those Rice Crispies elves don’t really look like the type to be trusted, either. For so long they have been at the top of the cereal market and we’ve been quite skeptic about their tactics and ways. I mean, they can’t do all of that on their own. We were thinking that they tortured people or even tarnished other cereals until they were seen as the best around.”
Michael Lee; “Oh yeah, they did do that. Their cereal is nothing but plain ol’ nicotine that is bleached to match the texture and color of grain. No wonder it’s so addictive! You think that’s real wheat? Hell, it’s barely 3.1415926535897932384626433832795 percent of wheat and that’s saying something-uh.”
Agent Two; “And our biggest problem of all… Lucky the Leprechaun. We’ve had a lot of problems with him in the past, more than enough that we can’t even handle. Lucky is the worst creature that we’ve dealt with in a long time. His increase of marshmallows in cereal has been the main reason for the obesity in children through North America. That and… well… other reasons, some that not even we can say. Tell us about him…”
Michael Lee; “Lucky… he’s just a pervert. He’s a bigot, he’s a con artist, he’s a cheater, he’s a fraud, he’s a liar, he’s a thief, he’s a terrorist, he’s an attention-whore and he’s just about every single thing that you can imagine wrapped up inside of a Christmas present-uh.”
[ The agents set their cattle prods on the ground and untie Michael, allowing him to be free. He stands up and dusts himself off, shaking both agents’ hands. At first it seemed like he was doing a bad thing for the world and for his creature friends, but it was a good thing. ]
Agent One; “We’re sorry about all of this, we really are.”
Michael Lee; “No problem. As long as you’re not going to hurt them-uh.”
Agent Two; “Actually, I’m afraid we have to clear their forest. We can’t handle with Lucky’s antics anymore, nor can we prepare for the onslaught of the Rice Crispies elves poisoning of their cereal. We’re terribly sorry, Mister Michael Lee Miller. But they will… have to be nuked.”
[ Michael’s mouth gasps and the agents shrug. After a couple of minutes, we hear an air-raid siren and an explosion off in the distance. Michael bursts out of the room and goes outside of the building, looking at a forest where it’s on fire, black smoke in the air and ashes blowing around in the air. Sorry kids. It was for the better. ]