Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 16:21:28 GMT -4
[ In a hotel room, Jesse and Michael are seated on the edge of different beds, watching their one-night only girls stand before them in skimpy outfits. They don't really see the need for them since they are about to get naked and make love in like... any minute now. But whatever, they still look hot with them on. Amy walks to Michael and takes a seat on his leap while Lenna puts her arm around MIchael. ]
Jesse James; "Sweet. So when are we going to do it and shit?"
Lenna Kretz; "Oooh, I like it when you talk dirty."
Jesse James; "Yeah. Shit's really dirty."
Lenna Kretz; "How about now?"
Jesse James; "Deal."
[ Both girls walk past the Millers and lay down on seperate beds, looking at them. ]
Amy Benes; "Michael, do me."
Michael Lee; "Sure. Where do I start-uh?"
Amy Benes; "You know where the girls love it."
Michael Lee; "Oh yeah. How stupid of me-uh."
[ He starts to unbutton his pants, but she stops him. ]
Amy Benes; "No! You don't rush to that! Excite me."
Michael Lee; "...How-uh?"
Amy Benes; "THE CLIT, ASSHOLE!"
Michael Lee; "Oh! Haha, all right, all right. I'll excite you with... the... clit-uh...?"
[ Michael looks over at Jesse who shrugs. ]
Michael Lee; "Try wikipedia. I don't even know what doing the clit means."
Jesse James; "Hmmm... too much work. Let's call the operator and shit."
[ Jesse walks to the telephone and pulls it off of the reciever. He presses 0 for the operator and after awhile, they pick up. ]
Operator; "Hello, how may we help you?"
Jesse James; "Hey, listen... me and my brother in a bit of a pickle with two girls."
Operator; "Roadside accident? Lost somewhere?"
Jesse James; "No, no. We need to know how to do the clit. Could you help us with that?"
Operator; "...Excuse me?"
Jesse James; "Do you know what doing the CLIT is and shit?"
[ The phone is immediatly hung up and Jesse looks shocked. He sets it down on the receiver and turns to Michael. ]
Michael Lee; "Errr... sorry-uh..."
Amy Benes; "You guys are serious?"
Michael Lee; "We're serious-uh."
Jesse James; "Wait a minute... I... I remember something."
*** Flashback to 19 summin'-summin' ***
[ Jesse is in his Highschool and in the front of the classroom are a couple of nurses teaching Sexual Education. On the board is a drawing of the Women's Anatomy and what they are teaching is their vajayjay. The nurse slaps the pointer stick in certain areas and explains it, but Jesse doesn't absorb any of it. All he has is a major erection by looking at parts of the female for the first time in life, and these parts are artistically drawing, not real pictures. His friend that sits beside him, some exchange student from Australia named Josh, nudges Jesse. He looks over. ]
Josh; "Hey man, ignore what she's teaching you. Here's a map. Hold onto it forever and pass it down to your children if you must. It's more useful than what they are teaching and all that you really need to know when you're an adult."
[ Josh hands Jesse a small-sized map, about 10"x10". He unfolds it and looks at a large gaping vajayjay, staring at him in the face. ]
Jesse James; "What's it useful for-uh?"
Josh; "Adulthood. That's as explainable as I can put it. Instead of calling that part there the volclitasaurocketrampolicemergencyule, you can call it the clit."
Jesse James; "Oh, thanks, I guess. I'll put it in my wallet unless you want it back-uh."
Josh; "Nope, I don't. I don't ever want to see that again, people think I'm a pervert with it."
[ Jesse folds the map back up and puts it into his wallet, keeping it's wrinkled form flat. ]
*** Return to 2007 ***
[ Jesse reaches into his back pocket, pulling out that same wallet and that some map of the Female Anatomy. The map seems to be rid of wrinkles and all else that made it look worn back in the day. Now it looks to be in better condition, probably because he has never pulled it out once since then. He unfolds it and him and his brother study it and then look at their one-night only partners. They nod their heads. ]
Michael Lee; "Okay, we got it. The clit is there-uh."
Jesse James; "Let's go excite them and shit, brother!'
Michael Lee; "Sweet-uh!"
[ The two brothers hop to different beds. ]
...Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some Afternoon Delight...
Jesse James; "Sweet. So when are we going to do it and shit?"
Lenna Kretz; "Oooh, I like it when you talk dirty."
Jesse James; "Yeah. Shit's really dirty."
Lenna Kretz; "How about now?"
Jesse James; "Deal."
[ Both girls walk past the Millers and lay down on seperate beds, looking at them. ]
Amy Benes; "Michael, do me."
Michael Lee; "Sure. Where do I start-uh?"
Amy Benes; "You know where the girls love it."
Michael Lee; "Oh yeah. How stupid of me-uh."
[ He starts to unbutton his pants, but she stops him. ]
Amy Benes; "No! You don't rush to that! Excite me."
Michael Lee; "...How-uh?"
Amy Benes; "THE CLIT, ASSHOLE!"
Michael Lee; "Oh! Haha, all right, all right. I'll excite you with... the... clit-uh...?"
[ Michael looks over at Jesse who shrugs. ]
Michael Lee; "Try wikipedia. I don't even know what doing the clit means."
Jesse James; "Hmmm... too much work. Let's call the operator and shit."
[ Jesse walks to the telephone and pulls it off of the reciever. He presses 0 for the operator and after awhile, they pick up. ]
Operator; "Hello, how may we help you?"
Jesse James; "Hey, listen... me and my brother in a bit of a pickle with two girls."
Operator; "Roadside accident? Lost somewhere?"
Jesse James; "No, no. We need to know how to do the clit. Could you help us with that?"
Operator; "...Excuse me?"
Jesse James; "Do you know what doing the CLIT is and shit?"
[ The phone is immediatly hung up and Jesse looks shocked. He sets it down on the receiver and turns to Michael. ]
Michael Lee; "Errr... sorry-uh..."
Amy Benes; "You guys are serious?"
Michael Lee; "We're serious-uh."
Jesse James; "Wait a minute... I... I remember something."
*** Flashback to 19 summin'-summin' ***
[ Jesse is in his Highschool and in the front of the classroom are a couple of nurses teaching Sexual Education. On the board is a drawing of the Women's Anatomy and what they are teaching is their vajayjay. The nurse slaps the pointer stick in certain areas and explains it, but Jesse doesn't absorb any of it. All he has is a major erection by looking at parts of the female for the first time in life, and these parts are artistically drawing, not real pictures. His friend that sits beside him, some exchange student from Australia named Josh, nudges Jesse. He looks over. ]
Josh; "Hey man, ignore what she's teaching you. Here's a map. Hold onto it forever and pass it down to your children if you must. It's more useful than what they are teaching and all that you really need to know when you're an adult."
[ Josh hands Jesse a small-sized map, about 10"x10". He unfolds it and looks at a large gaping vajayjay, staring at him in the face. ]
Jesse James; "What's it useful for-uh?"
Josh; "Adulthood. That's as explainable as I can put it. Instead of calling that part there the volclitasaurocketrampolicemergencyule, you can call it the clit."
Jesse James; "Oh, thanks, I guess. I'll put it in my wallet unless you want it back-uh."
Josh; "Nope, I don't. I don't ever want to see that again, people think I'm a pervert with it."
[ Jesse folds the map back up and puts it into his wallet, keeping it's wrinkled form flat. ]
*** Return to 2007 ***
[ Jesse reaches into his back pocket, pulling out that same wallet and that some map of the Female Anatomy. The map seems to be rid of wrinkles and all else that made it look worn back in the day. Now it looks to be in better condition, probably because he has never pulled it out once since then. He unfolds it and him and his brother study it and then look at their one-night only partners. They nod their heads. ]
Michael Lee; "Okay, we got it. The clit is there-uh."
Jesse James; "Let's go excite them and shit, brother!'
Michael Lee; "Sweet-uh!"
[ The two brothers hop to different beds. ]
...Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some Afternoon Delight...