Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 16:59:04 GMT -4
"sup?"
"other than doing a whole lot of nothing; nothing."
"awesome, so what are you up to?"
"...nothing."
"oh, shit! sorry, my bad. anyways, I've been hearing some pretty weird stuff lately that I think you might be a little bit interested in. however, since you have almost no care for most things that are told to you, I'm not even going to bother say anything to you that might get you the slightest bit interested. actually, forget I told you anything."
"okay?"
"even if the story does concern you, it's really none of your business."
"whoa, what? has somebody been saying something about me?"
"it's none of your business if somebody has been saying shit about you."
"if it concerns me, then I deserve to know."
"but you don't seem interested in my stories."
"this one is an odd exception."
"master of the house..."
"pipe down, chorus boy."
"blargh, okay... so I think some girl at work likes you or something."
"what do you mean? I hardly work with any girls at my place."
"oh yeah, I forgot you quit from the box factory awhile ago. man, paternity leave really does a lot on a person, doesn't it?"
"I would say so, you just impregnated your wife to get nine or so months off. pretty awful, in my opinion."
"shut up, if you wanted to take a break from work that bad, I'm sure you would have a hundred babies."
"uh, aren't you forgetting that I already do have a hundred babies? because of my perfume I was selling a little while ago, it's able to pay their lives and futures ahead of them. you don't know parenting as well as I do, man - so don't even go there, okay?"
"fine, deal."
"anyways, what were you saying about me?"
"some girl at the factory likes you."
"neat, who is she?"
"not too sure, she just got hired the other day."
"whoa... wait... so she's new and for some reason likes me? have we even met before?"
"probably not, but that's love, son."
"no! that isn't love!"
"love is love at first sight. don't you know anything about it or has your whole love life been full of lies?"
"my whole love life was nothing but booty-calls and one-night-stands! what the Hell are you going on about?"
"I have no idea, Jesse... let's just pretend this whole conversation never happened."
"no! I'm not going to let that happen. you got me interested in this damn story, so hurry up and tell me everything I want to hear."
"you've heard everything you need to know."
"no, I have some questions to ask."
"really? shoot."
"what is her name?"
"don't ask at me."
"how old is she?"
"some double-digit number."
"does she have any children?"
"don't think so."
"and are you positively sure that she's a girl?"
"HIV positive."
"hmmm... to be honest, I'm not interested in starting up anymore relationships."
"why not?"
"well, apparently I have some sort of relationship going on in FWA with some girl. she looks like Jessica Alba and I've been oblivious to the whole thing. funny how my weakness for woman has suddenly disappeared, huh? I used to be all over them and going crazy about them when I was a younger adult, but now... not so much. I don't know what happened, but somewhere down the line my interest just faded away. soaked up like water by the sun. oh well."
"yeah. oh well."
"where am I?"
"I don't have the slightest clue."
"other than doing a whole lot of nothing; nothing."
"awesome, so what are you up to?"
"...nothing."
"oh, shit! sorry, my bad. anyways, I've been hearing some pretty weird stuff lately that I think you might be a little bit interested in. however, since you have almost no care for most things that are told to you, I'm not even going to bother say anything to you that might get you the slightest bit interested. actually, forget I told you anything."
"okay?"
"even if the story does concern you, it's really none of your business."
"whoa, what? has somebody been saying something about me?"
"it's none of your business if somebody has been saying shit about you."
"if it concerns me, then I deserve to know."
"but you don't seem interested in my stories."
"this one is an odd exception."
"master of the house..."
"pipe down, chorus boy."
"blargh, okay... so I think some girl at work likes you or something."
"what do you mean? I hardly work with any girls at my place."
"oh yeah, I forgot you quit from the box factory awhile ago. man, paternity leave really does a lot on a person, doesn't it?"
"I would say so, you just impregnated your wife to get nine or so months off. pretty awful, in my opinion."
"shut up, if you wanted to take a break from work that bad, I'm sure you would have a hundred babies."
"uh, aren't you forgetting that I already do have a hundred babies? because of my perfume I was selling a little while ago, it's able to pay their lives and futures ahead of them. you don't know parenting as well as I do, man - so don't even go there, okay?"
"fine, deal."
"anyways, what were you saying about me?"
"some girl at the factory likes you."
"neat, who is she?"
"not too sure, she just got hired the other day."
"whoa... wait... so she's new and for some reason likes me? have we even met before?"
"probably not, but that's love, son."
"no! that isn't love!"
"love is love at first sight. don't you know anything about it or has your whole love life been full of lies?"
"my whole love life was nothing but booty-calls and one-night-stands! what the Hell are you going on about?"
"I have no idea, Jesse... let's just pretend this whole conversation never happened."
"no! I'm not going to let that happen. you got me interested in this damn story, so hurry up and tell me everything I want to hear."
"you've heard everything you need to know."
"no, I have some questions to ask."
"really? shoot."
"what is her name?"
"don't ask at me."
"how old is she?"
"some double-digit number."
"does she have any children?"
"don't think so."
"and are you positively sure that she's a girl?"
"HIV positive."
"hmmm... to be honest, I'm not interested in starting up anymore relationships."
"why not?"
"well, apparently I have some sort of relationship going on in FWA with some girl. she looks like Jessica Alba and I've been oblivious to the whole thing. funny how my weakness for woman has suddenly disappeared, huh? I used to be all over them and going crazy about them when I was a younger adult, but now... not so much. I don't know what happened, but somewhere down the line my interest just faded away. soaked up like water by the sun. oh well."
"yeah. oh well."
"where am I?"
"I don't have the slightest clue."