Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 17:23:36 GMT -4
Davidson stands before a green wall. Now, this shade of green isn't light nor is it dark. It's somewhere inbetween, but it's extremely inbetween. There's always a middle to two things, light and dark, left and right. The middle of black and white is gray, obviously or not. The middle of left and right is center, totally duh. But when it comes to light green and dark green, who knows what color it is. But we do, because that color is right behind Davidson. The lights in the room that Davidson is at, however, are dim, causing the color of the green wall behind him to appear much darker than it really is. So the question is asked, is it really a color in the middle anymore since we're not able to see it's true color anymore? Well, kid, I really can't answer that question, but if you would like to know the answer, please write a letter to my webmaster and he'll be sure to get to you as soon as possible whenever he logs onto the internet again. Currently, he's been offline for a few years because of nagging chestpains, but he'll be sure to come back online anytime soon, I'm sure of it. He's the kind of guy who never leaves his house unless it is to go buy something at a restaurant down the road, which is all he does. Last time I talked to him, he was having a case of heartburn or something weird like that because of the Quad-Stacker binge he went on. It's funny, he went on those weekly and they are always a hoot and hollar.
The color of green we see, however, is more common than we think. But do we see it individually at all times? Do we know how to recognize it when we see it? Have we ever had a solid color of it anywhere before? Most likely, probably, definitely, maybe. Or maybe not. It's the color you see in the forest, it's the color you see in grass, it's the color you see on army pants, it's the color to come out of your ass. It blends with everything, so really, you can't find it anywhere as a solid color. It's the mother fucking truth, so if you don't believe it, then fuck you. I've got proof, and if I took the color and tried to find it in photoshop, it wouldn't show up. Here, let me even try, bitchass!
#0cff00 - NOPE!
#1b9000 - NOPE!
#5e9a50 - NOPE!
#60ac4e - NOPE!
#15300e - SWEET JESUS! That's it.
And even though it's not exactly inbetween the dark and light of green, fuck you! I just wanted to lead you on, bitch! It's what I'm good at.
Thank you.
Compliment appreciated.
Davidson: "So, if anything, things for me are going to look pretty bad, aren't they? Not only am I going up against a guy who loves to go in depth of what he's doing, thinking and saying, but I'm also going up against some hot chick who's totally banging that guy who loves to go in depth of what he's doing, thinking and saying. By the looks of things, they have so much in common that they decided to form a relationship on the one thing they have in common rather than pestering management, and that is irrelevance. You see, what have we gained from the two of them so far in Fans Wrestling Alliance rather than a whole bunch of random bullshit, going door to door, knocking for this person and that person? Hours of constant pain, torture and anguish. Now a couple weeks ago, a shirtless Eagle was walking through a shopping mall, and badass and sexy as he claimed he was, he went into a music store with his more-than-metal nipples staring into the face of every customer who was there to buy things that were understandable in lyrical form. So what did you walk out with again? Norwegian Death Metal? Mangy, Transient Grandfather Rock? Actually, I think it was with no shirt. In most places - if not all - you can't go into a store with no shirt on, so what is up with that? Where in the Hell do you buy your things? Where in the Hell do you go? Or is it because you're Eagle, you get to do what you want, where you want, when you want? Let me try to pull a stunt like that, okay? Let's see where that gets me and if I get the same reaction. In fact, let's see if I can walk in the same store during the same hours of the day you did, with the same worker, and find out of the result is the same. But then again, why do I want to do anything that you do? Why replicate something Eagle has done in his past if it has proved to be something incredibly ridiculous with no point out of it all? Nobody wants to see me buy an album, nobody wants to even see me shopping, shirt or no shirt. What I'm saying is, it's ridiculous how you live a cartoon lifestyle. Do you ever suffer the consequences for anything you do?"
Does he? Ask and he shall answer.
Davidson: "And even though I could have touched on this more than a week ago, what's with Eagle trying to rip apart Palsied and his finisher names? Yo, homie, not meaning any disrespect to how you represent yourself to the wrestling audience, but your Eagle moniker ain't so original, either. We're not going to have no pat on the back in mutual respect when we face off, just to let you know, it'll be more like one stiff kick to your mother fuckin' stomach, a slap upside the head and an uppercut to your chin. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll be able to slip a blade and cut your throat when the referee isn't looking and have Taylor Smith's dull intelect be to blame. Even butterknives can lethally cut things, too, Eagle. Don't be too shocked when the unthinkable happens, because even the most wise can be impressed with things like that. By the way, lay off the fuckin' Dew. That's my shit you're messing with, not yours."
Davidson's been known for being a Dew junkie since his earliest days.
Davidson: "Now let me just say one thing and that is congratulations on your Attitude title contendership win. If you're as lucky as I am, you might be able to last more than five minutes in the ring with Seifer, because he's known to kick the living shit out of people that try to fuck with him and take personal belongings away. I had the guts, the bravery, to step up to him and try to win that belt and hey, I'm proud to say that I lost. But you don't look too prepared, Eagle, not even at the top of your game. But from what I hear, you insist and you beg that you want the title shot now - immediately - without any wait. Now that's cool and all, if you want it, you can probably get it. But not this week, because you're going to step up against me, the contender before you. I may not have been able to win that title, but so what? You won't be able to, either. I've heard from the grapevine that you think you're better than everybody in the Fans Wrestling Alliance other than me. And if I can't get it done, then how could you? I'm going to do all it takes to wipe that smile from your face, and it isn't going to take much. With a simple orange hunting hat, a rifle and an open field with you running away for dear life - yelling duckhunt should get you running for cover. And even though you may be Eagle, I think you're a duck. Eagle's portray a patriotic symbol to America, while ducks... are just humorous and silly, like Daffy. You're quite the hoot and hollar, Eagle."
He slaps his knee, laughing out loud.
The camera pans around and Davidson is standing in a classroom of children, then it's revealed that the dark green background behind him is a chalkboard. Normally, schools and universities don't have chalkboards anymore, but since Davidson is oldschool, he brings back a blast from the past and revamps things to the point that they're in style again. Look at what he did with the Reckless title, his old layout that has no relevance to FWA as a whole just like most of Eagle and Taylor Smith's doings and everything else. Anywho, more irrelevance is in store for y'all momentarily after the short commercial break.
- Snickers
- Cheap Gasoline
- Second-Hand Mustard-Pickle Jars
- Jerry's Baby Teeth
- Hair Combs for Men
When we return, Davidson walks up and down the hallways, carrying a meter stick at his side, dragging it along, tapping it on every metal desk leg he passes by. Every cling, every clang echoes throughout the room, ringing within the children's ears, deafening them with the metal ting that's so quiet that it's loud after bouncing off six flat surfaces in their surroundings. He makes his way back up to the front of the classroom and slams the meter stick on the table, breaking it, fragments of wood and splinters going everywhere in sight. One even manages to get a kid in the eye, going right through the pupil. He pushes his desk forward, screaming out of the room, but Davidson grabs him by the shirt collar and pulls him back, covering him in salt and throwing him outside of the window.
Davidson: "Alright children, what's one thing you want to do before you die?"
All of them widen their eyes, fearing that death may come closer than they think. He squints his eyes, looking around the classroom of about thirty or more, looking for a hand to be raised. Nobody is daring to raise their arms and answer the question being asked, so Davidson walks to the door, slamming it shut, stepping up on the desk and looking around, arms folded and veins poppign out of his neck. He grinds his teeth, extremely serious about the question - so he asks it again and asks more sternly like Howard would.
Davidson: "Answer me! What is the one thing that you want to accomplish in your life before you die?"
Bravely, a kid in the second row raises his hand. The camera zooms in on him.
Davidson: "Yes?"
Second-Row Kid: "Preserve a natural black man's legacy."
Davidson: "Great answer! Anybody else?"
He eyes around and they all lighten up, Davidson isn't so mean afterall. A kid in the front row raises his hand, he answers.
First-Row Kid: "Dilate a kitten's pupils."
Back-Row Kid: "Murder a drycleaner."
Middle-Row Kid: "Be the cause of a miscarriage."
Davidson: "Great! Great!"
Kid to the Right of Back-Row Kid: "Stuff a travel jar full of foreskin crumple."
Davidson: "Wow! We've got some kids full of potential in here, we really do. Now, I don't know what I'm going to do with you all, probably just recommend a psychiatrist because you're all fucked in the head if you really think that things like that are accepted in society. Listen to me, society doesn't take kindly to freaks and people with crazy thoughts like you all. That's why you're all where you are today - in a fuckin' classroom witnessing some substitute telling you to do things wrongly. You saw me cover your classmate with salt and throw him out a window, stories about hard ground. Now he's probably outside, dead, or just seriously injured with a broken back or severly injured neck and concussion. He was somebody's best-friend, I gather, and probably a son of two parents who are at work right now - or somewhere totally different. Anywho, fuck him, and fuck you because you didn't do a thing to stop me. What a friend you are, back-row kid."
Back-Row Kid: "I hated that kid."
Davidson: "Oh, well, fair enough. I hated him, too. And fuck the rest of you."
He walks out of the room and presses a button and the walls cave in on the children.
Fuck the future.
The color of green we see, however, is more common than we think. But do we see it individually at all times? Do we know how to recognize it when we see it? Have we ever had a solid color of it anywhere before? Most likely, probably, definitely, maybe. Or maybe not. It's the color you see in the forest, it's the color you see in grass, it's the color you see on army pants, it's the color to come out of your ass. It blends with everything, so really, you can't find it anywhere as a solid color. It's the mother fucking truth, so if you don't believe it, then fuck you. I've got proof, and if I took the color and tried to find it in photoshop, it wouldn't show up. Here, let me even try, bitchass!
#0cff00 - NOPE!
#1b9000 - NOPE!
#5e9a50 - NOPE!
#60ac4e - NOPE!
#15300e - SWEET JESUS! That's it.
And even though it's not exactly inbetween the dark and light of green, fuck you! I just wanted to lead you on, bitch! It's what I'm good at.
Thank you.
Compliment appreciated.
Davidson: "So, if anything, things for me are going to look pretty bad, aren't they? Not only am I going up against a guy who loves to go in depth of what he's doing, thinking and saying, but I'm also going up against some hot chick who's totally banging that guy who loves to go in depth of what he's doing, thinking and saying. By the looks of things, they have so much in common that they decided to form a relationship on the one thing they have in common rather than pestering management, and that is irrelevance. You see, what have we gained from the two of them so far in Fans Wrestling Alliance rather than a whole bunch of random bullshit, going door to door, knocking for this person and that person? Hours of constant pain, torture and anguish. Now a couple weeks ago, a shirtless Eagle was walking through a shopping mall, and badass and sexy as he claimed he was, he went into a music store with his more-than-metal nipples staring into the face of every customer who was there to buy things that were understandable in lyrical form. So what did you walk out with again? Norwegian Death Metal? Mangy, Transient Grandfather Rock? Actually, I think it was with no shirt. In most places - if not all - you can't go into a store with no shirt on, so what is up with that? Where in the Hell do you buy your things? Where in the Hell do you go? Or is it because you're Eagle, you get to do what you want, where you want, when you want? Let me try to pull a stunt like that, okay? Let's see where that gets me and if I get the same reaction. In fact, let's see if I can walk in the same store during the same hours of the day you did, with the same worker, and find out of the result is the same. But then again, why do I want to do anything that you do? Why replicate something Eagle has done in his past if it has proved to be something incredibly ridiculous with no point out of it all? Nobody wants to see me buy an album, nobody wants to even see me shopping, shirt or no shirt. What I'm saying is, it's ridiculous how you live a cartoon lifestyle. Do you ever suffer the consequences for anything you do?"
Does he? Ask and he shall answer.
Davidson: "And even though I could have touched on this more than a week ago, what's with Eagle trying to rip apart Palsied and his finisher names? Yo, homie, not meaning any disrespect to how you represent yourself to the wrestling audience, but your Eagle moniker ain't so original, either. We're not going to have no pat on the back in mutual respect when we face off, just to let you know, it'll be more like one stiff kick to your mother fuckin' stomach, a slap upside the head and an uppercut to your chin. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll be able to slip a blade and cut your throat when the referee isn't looking and have Taylor Smith's dull intelect be to blame. Even butterknives can lethally cut things, too, Eagle. Don't be too shocked when the unthinkable happens, because even the most wise can be impressed with things like that. By the way, lay off the fuckin' Dew. That's my shit you're messing with, not yours."
Davidson's been known for being a Dew junkie since his earliest days.
Davidson: "Now let me just say one thing and that is congratulations on your Attitude title contendership win. If you're as lucky as I am, you might be able to last more than five minutes in the ring with Seifer, because he's known to kick the living shit out of people that try to fuck with him and take personal belongings away. I had the guts, the bravery, to step up to him and try to win that belt and hey, I'm proud to say that I lost. But you don't look too prepared, Eagle, not even at the top of your game. But from what I hear, you insist and you beg that you want the title shot now - immediately - without any wait. Now that's cool and all, if you want it, you can probably get it. But not this week, because you're going to step up against me, the contender before you. I may not have been able to win that title, but so what? You won't be able to, either. I've heard from the grapevine that you think you're better than everybody in the Fans Wrestling Alliance other than me. And if I can't get it done, then how could you? I'm going to do all it takes to wipe that smile from your face, and it isn't going to take much. With a simple orange hunting hat, a rifle and an open field with you running away for dear life - yelling duckhunt should get you running for cover. And even though you may be Eagle, I think you're a duck. Eagle's portray a patriotic symbol to America, while ducks... are just humorous and silly, like Daffy. You're quite the hoot and hollar, Eagle."
He slaps his knee, laughing out loud.
The camera pans around and Davidson is standing in a classroom of children, then it's revealed that the dark green background behind him is a chalkboard. Normally, schools and universities don't have chalkboards anymore, but since Davidson is oldschool, he brings back a blast from the past and revamps things to the point that they're in style again. Look at what he did with the Reckless title, his old layout that has no relevance to FWA as a whole just like most of Eagle and Taylor Smith's doings and everything else. Anywho, more irrelevance is in store for y'all momentarily after the short commercial break.
- Snickers
- Cheap Gasoline
- Second-Hand Mustard-Pickle Jars
- Jerry's Baby Teeth
- Hair Combs for Men
When we return, Davidson walks up and down the hallways, carrying a meter stick at his side, dragging it along, tapping it on every metal desk leg he passes by. Every cling, every clang echoes throughout the room, ringing within the children's ears, deafening them with the metal ting that's so quiet that it's loud after bouncing off six flat surfaces in their surroundings. He makes his way back up to the front of the classroom and slams the meter stick on the table, breaking it, fragments of wood and splinters going everywhere in sight. One even manages to get a kid in the eye, going right through the pupil. He pushes his desk forward, screaming out of the room, but Davidson grabs him by the shirt collar and pulls him back, covering him in salt and throwing him outside of the window.
Davidson: "Alright children, what's one thing you want to do before you die?"
All of them widen their eyes, fearing that death may come closer than they think. He squints his eyes, looking around the classroom of about thirty or more, looking for a hand to be raised. Nobody is daring to raise their arms and answer the question being asked, so Davidson walks to the door, slamming it shut, stepping up on the desk and looking around, arms folded and veins poppign out of his neck. He grinds his teeth, extremely serious about the question - so he asks it again and asks more sternly like Howard would.
Davidson: "Answer me! What is the one thing that you want to accomplish in your life before you die?"
Bravely, a kid in the second row raises his hand. The camera zooms in on him.
Davidson: "Yes?"
Second-Row Kid: "Preserve a natural black man's legacy."
Davidson: "Great answer! Anybody else?"
He eyes around and they all lighten up, Davidson isn't so mean afterall. A kid in the front row raises his hand, he answers.
First-Row Kid: "Dilate a kitten's pupils."
Back-Row Kid: "Murder a drycleaner."
Middle-Row Kid: "Be the cause of a miscarriage."
Davidson: "Great! Great!"
Kid to the Right of Back-Row Kid: "Stuff a travel jar full of foreskin crumple."
Davidson: "Wow! We've got some kids full of potential in here, we really do. Now, I don't know what I'm going to do with you all, probably just recommend a psychiatrist because you're all fucked in the head if you really think that things like that are accepted in society. Listen to me, society doesn't take kindly to freaks and people with crazy thoughts like you all. That's why you're all where you are today - in a fuckin' classroom witnessing some substitute telling you to do things wrongly. You saw me cover your classmate with salt and throw him out a window, stories about hard ground. Now he's probably outside, dead, or just seriously injured with a broken back or severly injured neck and concussion. He was somebody's best-friend, I gather, and probably a son of two parents who are at work right now - or somewhere totally different. Anywho, fuck him, and fuck you because you didn't do a thing to stop me. What a friend you are, back-row kid."
Back-Row Kid: "I hated that kid."
Davidson: "Oh, well, fair enough. I hated him, too. And fuck the rest of you."
He walks out of the room and presses a button and the walls cave in on the children.
Fuck the future.