Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 17:25:46 GMT -4
Davidson: "So how's your neck?"
"It's broken."
Davidson: "Well man up, sissy!"
The scene opens to reveal Davidson pushing a wheel chair along the sidewalk. On the wheelchair is the kid he covered in salt and threw out of the school window, stories above ground. Yes, that's right, I wrote ABOVE this time rather than ABOUT. I don't know how many of you noticed that typo the first time, but I sure as Hell did and I'm correcting it now. Behind Davidson is a cop with a gun held to his back. This is all a part of his house arrest, but he somehow got a reason to leave his house today - probably because he had to work out a deal with the parents, cops and kid to push him around until he gets better from his injuries that Davidson was clearly the cause of.
Kid Who Was Covered in Salt and Thrown Out the Window: "Davidson, who's my mommy?"
Davidson: "Fuck knows, kid. Let's go ask Taylor Smith, she knows how to handle shit like this."
Kid Who Was Covered in Salt and Thrown Out the Window: "Okay."
Davidson: "Hey cop, do you know where Taylor Smith lives?"
Cop: "Yes, in fact I do. We have to go up this block, cross the street, go right until we hit the third street, go left and keep going until we see a landmark statue near a famous building, wade past the famous building and landmark statue, go through the ghetto making sure we don't get stabbed or shot - it's likely, because I'm a cop and shit like that can happen to all of us if they see me with you - and then we go into the rich neighborhood where housewives roam, moaning orgasmically for no reason at all."
Davidson: "Okay? And where at does she live there?"
Cop: "She lives in the biggest, fanciest house of them all."
Davidson: "Is it visible from here?"
Cop: "YES! It's the biggest, fanciest house of them all! What did I just tell you?!"
Davidson: "Shut up, asshole cop! Shoot me!"
Cop: "I can't use my weapon."
Davidson: "Then why do you have it pressed against my back?"
Cop: "To show you that I mean business."
Davidson: "Okay, I got the point. Now put it away."
Cop: "I need it for protection."
Davidson: "If you can't use it, then it's useless for protection. Ain't it?"
Cop: "Carry on!"
He starts pushing the wheelchair along the sidewalk and he reaches a stoop that has the last name 'Smut' on the mailbox beside the door. He wheels the chair up five steps, each jerk and pull hurting the kid's neck beyond belief, but he continues to do so anyways. Reaching the top of the step, he knocks on the door. There's no answer, so he knocks again. There's no answer, so he knocks again. There's no answer, so he knocks again.
Davidson: "There's no answer."
Cop: "So knock again."
He knocks again, there's no answer. Frustrated, the cop puts his gun away and kicks the door open. He rolls headfirst inside and grabs his gun, pointing it around, looking for unsuspecting terrorists. A cat runs and hides underneath a sofa and the cop believes it might be Osama Bin Laden hiding from the FBI or CIA. He shoots up the couch and lifts it up, tossing it aside. He cat is sprawled out, hands and feet clawing into the carpet floor. The cop looks in disgust at how skinny the kitten is, then he runs up the stairs to the owner of the house. He beats him up for starving the kitten, then throws him down the staircase. He beats him up in the corner.
Cop: "Why do you starve your cats?"
House Owner: "IT DOESN'T WANT TO EAT!"
Cop: "THEN FEED IT!"
House Owner: "AHHH! WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Cop: "DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW A TAYLOR SMITH?"
House Owner: "YES I DO! WE'RE LIKE DISTANT RELATIVES OR SOME SHIT!"
Cop: "OH REALLY? AND YOUR NAME?"
House Owner: "Billie-Jean Smut!"
Cop: "AHA! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HER!"
Billie-Jean Smut: "LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?! I'm HARMLESS to EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING!"
The cop puts the gun up to the person's head and puts his finger around the trigger, firmly. He's ready to pull it, blasting out lead through the flesh, the bone, the brain - everything that is essential to live with. But he doesn't do it, instead, he turns the gun and has it aimed at the kid who was covered in salt and thrown out the school window, then he turns it to Davidson, then he turns it towards the innocent kitten that is there, scared. The trigger is pulled - BANG! - the kitten is killed.
Billie-Jean Smut: "WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU KILLED MY CAT?! YOU MANIAC!"
Cop: "To put it out of its misery, you would understand."
Billie-Jean Smut: "IT WAS ONLY THREE WEEKS OLD!"
Cop: "So you didn't get too attached to it."
The three leave and Mr. Smut cries as the door is shut. Davidson pushes the wheelchair down the steps, then starts to push in the direction of Taylor Smith's larger than life house. He sees in the tenth storie, Eagle, with his arms out, looking around as a million or more women flock around the house, hoping that he jumps down for them to catch and molest him. Davidson skews his face in disgust, all of them are whore. Dirty, filthy whores. They're screaming orgasmically for Eagle, housewives with nothing more to do than want to have an affair with other men. But it's quite common in rich, famous big places like that.
Davidson: "Sickening, isn't it?"
Cop: "I could shoot him for trying to commit suicide."
Davidson: "What good would that do?"
Cop: "Not sure, but it would be effective in some sort of way."
Kid Who Was Covered in Salt and Thrown Out the Window: "My neck is hurting."
Davidson: "SHUT UP! DEAL WITH IT!"
Cop: "Here, eat these barbiturates."
The cop reaches in his pocket, pulls out a ziploc bag full of pills, then sticks then in the kids mouth, manually making him chew them by moving his jaw up and down. After awhile, he dozes off to sleep - or has an overdose of the painkillers - and they start pushing him along, going up to Taylor Smith's house. Before they arrive, they arrive to another door and the cop knocks. An old woman answers the door and looks at the cop, a little worried.
Cop: "Hey, I got a problem."
Old Woman: "Oh dear, what is it?"
Cop: "This kid is being more reckless than Ramirez - (Davidson: "Fuck you!") - in the neighborhood, could you call the cops and have him arrested?"
Old Woman: "Oh dear, but what if he tries to do something in my house?"
Cop: "Don't worry, I had to taze him for being too extravagant. He's going to be sleeping for a very long time."
Old Woman: "Oh dear, just leave him here and I'll see what I can do."
Davidson and the Cop nod their heads and he leaves the wheelchair there. They start walking along to Taylor Smith's house and the Old Woman goes inside of her house. As she does the wheelchair starts to get pulled back by gravity, going down a steep city hill against oncoming traffic. Yeah, he's pretty much going to be fucked for his whole entire life. They reach the neighborhood where housewives roam around moaning orgasmically and they put on gasmasks since they have bad breath. They reach Taylor Smith's house and before they even step on her property, they look at one another, nod their heads and bring out their guns.
TBCB: Go for it babes =)
"It's broken."
Davidson: "Well man up, sissy!"
The scene opens to reveal Davidson pushing a wheel chair along the sidewalk. On the wheelchair is the kid he covered in salt and threw out of the school window, stories above ground. Yes, that's right, I wrote ABOVE this time rather than ABOUT. I don't know how many of you noticed that typo the first time, but I sure as Hell did and I'm correcting it now. Behind Davidson is a cop with a gun held to his back. This is all a part of his house arrest, but he somehow got a reason to leave his house today - probably because he had to work out a deal with the parents, cops and kid to push him around until he gets better from his injuries that Davidson was clearly the cause of.
Kid Who Was Covered in Salt and Thrown Out the Window: "Davidson, who's my mommy?"
Davidson: "Fuck knows, kid. Let's go ask Taylor Smith, she knows how to handle shit like this."
Kid Who Was Covered in Salt and Thrown Out the Window: "Okay."
Davidson: "Hey cop, do you know where Taylor Smith lives?"
Cop: "Yes, in fact I do. We have to go up this block, cross the street, go right until we hit the third street, go left and keep going until we see a landmark statue near a famous building, wade past the famous building and landmark statue, go through the ghetto making sure we don't get stabbed or shot - it's likely, because I'm a cop and shit like that can happen to all of us if they see me with you - and then we go into the rich neighborhood where housewives roam, moaning orgasmically for no reason at all."
Davidson: "Okay? And where at does she live there?"
Cop: "She lives in the biggest, fanciest house of them all."
Davidson: "Is it visible from here?"
Cop: "YES! It's the biggest, fanciest house of them all! What did I just tell you?!"
Davidson: "Shut up, asshole cop! Shoot me!"
Cop: "I can't use my weapon."
Davidson: "Then why do you have it pressed against my back?"
Cop: "To show you that I mean business."
Davidson: "Okay, I got the point. Now put it away."
Cop: "I need it for protection."
Davidson: "If you can't use it, then it's useless for protection. Ain't it?"
Cop: "Carry on!"
He starts pushing the wheelchair along the sidewalk and he reaches a stoop that has the last name 'Smut' on the mailbox beside the door. He wheels the chair up five steps, each jerk and pull hurting the kid's neck beyond belief, but he continues to do so anyways. Reaching the top of the step, he knocks on the door. There's no answer, so he knocks again. There's no answer, so he knocks again. There's no answer, so he knocks again.
Davidson: "There's no answer."
Cop: "So knock again."
He knocks again, there's no answer. Frustrated, the cop puts his gun away and kicks the door open. He rolls headfirst inside and grabs his gun, pointing it around, looking for unsuspecting terrorists. A cat runs and hides underneath a sofa and the cop believes it might be Osama Bin Laden hiding from the FBI or CIA. He shoots up the couch and lifts it up, tossing it aside. He cat is sprawled out, hands and feet clawing into the carpet floor. The cop looks in disgust at how skinny the kitten is, then he runs up the stairs to the owner of the house. He beats him up for starving the kitten, then throws him down the staircase. He beats him up in the corner.
Cop: "Why do you starve your cats?"
House Owner: "IT DOESN'T WANT TO EAT!"
Cop: "THEN FEED IT!"
House Owner: "AHHH! WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Cop: "DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW A TAYLOR SMITH?"
House Owner: "YES I DO! WE'RE LIKE DISTANT RELATIVES OR SOME SHIT!"
Cop: "OH REALLY? AND YOUR NAME?"
House Owner: "Billie-Jean Smut!"
Cop: "AHA! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HER!"
Billie-Jean Smut: "LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?! I'm HARMLESS to EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING!"
The cop puts the gun up to the person's head and puts his finger around the trigger, firmly. He's ready to pull it, blasting out lead through the flesh, the bone, the brain - everything that is essential to live with. But he doesn't do it, instead, he turns the gun and has it aimed at the kid who was covered in salt and thrown out the school window, then he turns it to Davidson, then he turns it towards the innocent kitten that is there, scared. The trigger is pulled - BANG! - the kitten is killed.
Billie-Jean Smut: "WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU KILLED MY CAT?! YOU MANIAC!"
Cop: "To put it out of its misery, you would understand."
Billie-Jean Smut: "IT WAS ONLY THREE WEEKS OLD!"
Cop: "So you didn't get too attached to it."
The three leave and Mr. Smut cries as the door is shut. Davidson pushes the wheelchair down the steps, then starts to push in the direction of Taylor Smith's larger than life house. He sees in the tenth storie, Eagle, with his arms out, looking around as a million or more women flock around the house, hoping that he jumps down for them to catch and molest him. Davidson skews his face in disgust, all of them are whore. Dirty, filthy whores. They're screaming orgasmically for Eagle, housewives with nothing more to do than want to have an affair with other men. But it's quite common in rich, famous big places like that.
Davidson: "Sickening, isn't it?"
Cop: "I could shoot him for trying to commit suicide."
Davidson: "What good would that do?"
Cop: "Not sure, but it would be effective in some sort of way."
Kid Who Was Covered in Salt and Thrown Out the Window: "My neck is hurting."
Davidson: "SHUT UP! DEAL WITH IT!"
Cop: "Here, eat these barbiturates."
The cop reaches in his pocket, pulls out a ziploc bag full of pills, then sticks then in the kids mouth, manually making him chew them by moving his jaw up and down. After awhile, he dozes off to sleep - or has an overdose of the painkillers - and they start pushing him along, going up to Taylor Smith's house. Before they arrive, they arrive to another door and the cop knocks. An old woman answers the door and looks at the cop, a little worried.
Cop: "Hey, I got a problem."
Old Woman: "Oh dear, what is it?"
Cop: "This kid is being more reckless than Ramirez - (Davidson: "Fuck you!") - in the neighborhood, could you call the cops and have him arrested?"
Old Woman: "Oh dear, but what if he tries to do something in my house?"
Cop: "Don't worry, I had to taze him for being too extravagant. He's going to be sleeping for a very long time."
Old Woman: "Oh dear, just leave him here and I'll see what I can do."
Davidson and the Cop nod their heads and he leaves the wheelchair there. They start walking along to Taylor Smith's house and the Old Woman goes inside of her house. As she does the wheelchair starts to get pulled back by gravity, going down a steep city hill against oncoming traffic. Yeah, he's pretty much going to be fucked for his whole entire life. They reach the neighborhood where housewives roam around moaning orgasmically and they put on gasmasks since they have bad breath. They reach Taylor Smith's house and before they even step on her property, they look at one another, nod their heads and bring out their guns.
TBCB: Go for it babes =)