Post by TFP on Oct 21, 2008 17:27:54 GMT -4
She sat at the back of the transit bus, eyes focused on nothing but the neverending road that we ride on to our individual destinations. Her hair wasn't brushed, and I don't think that she put on the cleanest clothes this morning, either. You could tell that there was something on her mind, and what that was, you wondered - but wouldn't dare ask. It's strange, you know... I don't know her, at all, not even her name but I feel concerned like a friend or family member of hers would be. I just want to get up, walk to the back, have a seat beside her and after a couple awkward seconds of silence - ask her some things, hope to get an answer that would allow me to give advice and everything else she's looking for on a plate. Then she nodded off, looking down with her eyes closed.
I felt so sad for her.
Should have stood up and done something, but I just sat put, keeping my attention to the back. Typically, I can look in both directions of the bus without looking like a creepy person - I sit sideways with my feet taking up the rest of the sitting space. Although rude and against the code of conduct on the bus, it's all about being and feeling comfortable. Ever since that one guy got beheaded in my own country of Canada, supposedly the safest place in the world, I couldn't let myself become victim to something like that. The first school shootings influence more to take place, as do wars and terrorist attacks. If one guy gets beheaded on a bus, what makes you think a couple others won't, either? You can never be too careful. As often as I flirt with death, I fear for my life. I just want to live. But she in the back, I don't know what direction she is going in this life. Up? Down? Does she even know, herself? Then she brought her head up and our eyes made contact. I nodded off, looking down with my eyes closed.
She felt so sad for me.
Most of the time, if not all, we're all alone. We look for somebody most of the time for some kind of comfort, warmth. They bring understanding, trust and even more than that. If there was one person in my life that I could turn to for comfort and warmth, able to understand me enough that we could trust one another and thensome, I would be a happy person - I would smile more often. I've been feeling down a lot, ever since I lost some good friends that no longer wanted to talk to me for reasons I won't say. You know, it's typical he-said she-said bullshit with people. You think you'll have faith in them for a long time, but when all goes wrong, they open that box and let all your secrets go... like a bat out of Hell. That really opens your eyes to the world and everybody around you. It doesn't matter how long you've known them, where they come from or even the history between you both - things can happen and when it does, everybody will suffer.
You feel so sad for yourself.
Instead of that one individual human being that you thought you could share everything with, they've done the worst thing ever and burnt a bridge that was believed to be so strong and reinforced with martian steal. Through all kinds of weather and hardship, it lasted. But a little bit of heat may be all that it takes to bend it and cause it to break. Catastrophe, that's what happens. A mess is in your wake and you have to step around it, but can you jump the hurdle? Too much is in your way, isn't it? Hard to cope with, isn't it? You're not going to clean this up because it's a weight on your mind, isn't it? Only something like this could happen to you and that's the truth. You always get the worst of a problem, you always have to be the one to get the backhand to the face. Problems don't get solved, the fire doesn't burn out and Hell just reinvents itself.
They feel so sad for you.
A burden in your hand isn't something you want to deal with for a long and enduring time. After awhile, it's difficult to deal with and you wish you had a chainsaw just to chop the thing off, resulting in a stump at the end of your arm. Infection or gangrene, it doesn't matter to you, as long as that one problem has been dealt with by being removed and thrown to the side - you're happy. But really, you're not. Remember, you've got two arms meaning you've got two hands. There's always going to be wrong and right, there's always going to be good and bad, there's always going to be ups and downs. You don't do your best to completely destroy things, dynamite explodes, just try to work your way around things. If something is ready and urging to be severed, try to mend it - fix it - keep it together. Don't go swinging an axe, it's only going to make things worse. Just because there isn't blood doesn't mean we aren't hurting. For those of you who didn't know that...
...you should feel so sad for yourself.
Then the bus came to a stop somewhere downtown, I was lost in deep thought and concentration. I don't know what it is or what I'm going through, but I think finally... finally I found out what could help me. Maybe, just maybe, she's feeling like I am. Trapped, lost, confused and lonely. Never has anybody I've ever known understood the word "comfort", never has anybody I've ever known understood the word "trust", never has anybody I've ever known understood the word "warmth", and never has anybody I've ever known understood the word "understanding". But I know that there's somebody out there with good thought and great knowledge on every single one of those words - how close or how far away, I'm not too sure. But as of now, without any conversations or proof whatsoever, I believe - I know - that she's the one. Together, guidance. When he bus door swings open, she gets up, walking down the aisle. I get too my feet, and follow out the door after her.
We felt so sad for eachother.
I felt so sad for her.
Should have stood up and done something, but I just sat put, keeping my attention to the back. Typically, I can look in both directions of the bus without looking like a creepy person - I sit sideways with my feet taking up the rest of the sitting space. Although rude and against the code of conduct on the bus, it's all about being and feeling comfortable. Ever since that one guy got beheaded in my own country of Canada, supposedly the safest place in the world, I couldn't let myself become victim to something like that. The first school shootings influence more to take place, as do wars and terrorist attacks. If one guy gets beheaded on a bus, what makes you think a couple others won't, either? You can never be too careful. As often as I flirt with death, I fear for my life. I just want to live. But she in the back, I don't know what direction she is going in this life. Up? Down? Does she even know, herself? Then she brought her head up and our eyes made contact. I nodded off, looking down with my eyes closed.
She felt so sad for me.
Most of the time, if not all, we're all alone. We look for somebody most of the time for some kind of comfort, warmth. They bring understanding, trust and even more than that. If there was one person in my life that I could turn to for comfort and warmth, able to understand me enough that we could trust one another and thensome, I would be a happy person - I would smile more often. I've been feeling down a lot, ever since I lost some good friends that no longer wanted to talk to me for reasons I won't say. You know, it's typical he-said she-said bullshit with people. You think you'll have faith in them for a long time, but when all goes wrong, they open that box and let all your secrets go... like a bat out of Hell. That really opens your eyes to the world and everybody around you. It doesn't matter how long you've known them, where they come from or even the history between you both - things can happen and when it does, everybody will suffer.
You feel so sad for yourself.
Instead of that one individual human being that you thought you could share everything with, they've done the worst thing ever and burnt a bridge that was believed to be so strong and reinforced with martian steal. Through all kinds of weather and hardship, it lasted. But a little bit of heat may be all that it takes to bend it and cause it to break. Catastrophe, that's what happens. A mess is in your wake and you have to step around it, but can you jump the hurdle? Too much is in your way, isn't it? Hard to cope with, isn't it? You're not going to clean this up because it's a weight on your mind, isn't it? Only something like this could happen to you and that's the truth. You always get the worst of a problem, you always have to be the one to get the backhand to the face. Problems don't get solved, the fire doesn't burn out and Hell just reinvents itself.
They feel so sad for you.
A burden in your hand isn't something you want to deal with for a long and enduring time. After awhile, it's difficult to deal with and you wish you had a chainsaw just to chop the thing off, resulting in a stump at the end of your arm. Infection or gangrene, it doesn't matter to you, as long as that one problem has been dealt with by being removed and thrown to the side - you're happy. But really, you're not. Remember, you've got two arms meaning you've got two hands. There's always going to be wrong and right, there's always going to be good and bad, there's always going to be ups and downs. You don't do your best to completely destroy things, dynamite explodes, just try to work your way around things. If something is ready and urging to be severed, try to mend it - fix it - keep it together. Don't go swinging an axe, it's only going to make things worse. Just because there isn't blood doesn't mean we aren't hurting. For those of you who didn't know that...
...you should feel so sad for yourself.
Then the bus came to a stop somewhere downtown, I was lost in deep thought and concentration. I don't know what it is or what I'm going through, but I think finally... finally I found out what could help me. Maybe, just maybe, she's feeling like I am. Trapped, lost, confused and lonely. Never has anybody I've ever known understood the word "comfort", never has anybody I've ever known understood the word "trust", never has anybody I've ever known understood the word "warmth", and never has anybody I've ever known understood the word "understanding". But I know that there's somebody out there with good thought and great knowledge on every single one of those words - how close or how far away, I'm not too sure. But as of now, without any conversations or proof whatsoever, I believe - I know - that she's the one. Together, guidance. When he bus door swings open, she gets up, walking down the aisle. I get too my feet, and follow out the door after her.
We felt so sad for eachother.