Post by TFP on Nov 8, 2008 22:50:33 GMT -4
Wrestling circuit are filled with many things that are totally filled with crap and that are meaningless. For example, we hire raccoons and dragons who think that they can wrestle just because they have a bad street rep. We also manage to locate Dinosaurs like the Tyrannosaurus Rex and we throw an Electric Guitar, Monocle and a Top-Hat their way, expecting them to make a Platinum record that makes people go crazy and download it off of iTunes.
But being succesful isn't exactly that easy, you get? First off, you need something to make you get noticed. Yes, true; being a Dinosaur such as the T-Rex who plays a guitar while wearing a Monocle and a Top-Hat would get you noticed quite fast, but you must understand that looks aren't the main features to being succesful. But in some cases, it does work. Fuck, careers are complicated. But that doesn't matter anymore. Do you know why?
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
Because there's a man in a blue-striped shirt wearing a blue-plaid dress-shirt wearing a bug-protecting hat who is destined in changing how to be succesful. How? By being an idiot that calls out people for useless reasons. Random reasons and perhaps this will be his only time. But we don't know that, will we? Perhaps being a one-hit wonder who makes a one-time appearance will be his key to success and rememberance. We're not all too sure.
But listen to me, the narrator: grab a carrot and some prune-juice, because this is really cool and you need something fruity to balance out the uneven equation. Too much coolness can overwhelm the W2K system that gives us what we need for entertainment. Don't you remember the time when DVD's lameness almost ruined and destroyed the W2K as a whole? You don't? Maybe it was because you were going through shock and a seizure combination. Let me remind you what it was that almost put W2K through another blackout: his World Title reign.
But that's all over... thankfully.
We open up in a Jungle looking place. We can only assume that it is filled with things like ticks and bees because the guy is wearing a bug-net hat over his face. Smart thinking.
"Hey, guess what I stole from you, JT? Hahaha!"
Laughs uncontrollably.
"Your BLUE FONT, Kash!"
Scratches his head once the point has been made.
"Yeah, whatever... take it back. Although I'm more awesome than you and anybody else in the W2K for quite the obvious reasons, it suits the Supernova better than anybody else. Besides, you make up cool little sayings that make people laugh."
Pulls out floss and does his front teeth
"Canadian beaver..."
Spits on the floor
"One of the most hated meats by myself, the Fockamile Hunter. I don't really know why I eat it as much as I do, but how could I just leave this perfectly good meat in the refrigerator's freezer that was hunted by my Eskimo friends up North? They work hard for this stuff, so I might as well respect them by eatinga and digesting it. Although I could lie and throw it out or even feed it to my dogs, but... many things in life don't make sense. For example, this promo."
Shrugs.
"Pointless as this may be, it will still be one of the most remembered promos for eternity."
Walks to camera.
"Won't it? WON'T IT?!"
Punches himself in the side of the face.
"Hamid, fire me."
Fade out.
But being succesful isn't exactly that easy, you get? First off, you need something to make you get noticed. Yes, true; being a Dinosaur such as the T-Rex who plays a guitar while wearing a Monocle and a Top-Hat would get you noticed quite fast, but you must understand that looks aren't the main features to being succesful. But in some cases, it does work. Fuck, careers are complicated. But that doesn't matter anymore. Do you know why?
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
Because there's a man in a blue-striped shirt wearing a blue-plaid dress-shirt wearing a bug-protecting hat who is destined in changing how to be succesful. How? By being an idiot that calls out people for useless reasons. Random reasons and perhaps this will be his only time. But we don't know that, will we? Perhaps being a one-hit wonder who makes a one-time appearance will be his key to success and rememberance. We're not all too sure.
But listen to me, the narrator: grab a carrot and some prune-juice, because this is really cool and you need something fruity to balance out the uneven equation. Too much coolness can overwhelm the W2K system that gives us what we need for entertainment. Don't you remember the time when DVD's lameness almost ruined and destroyed the W2K as a whole? You don't? Maybe it was because you were going through shock and a seizure combination. Let me remind you what it was that almost put W2K through another blackout: his World Title reign.
But that's all over... thankfully.
We open up in a Jungle looking place. We can only assume that it is filled with things like ticks and bees because the guy is wearing a bug-net hat over his face. Smart thinking.
"Hey, guess what I stole from you, JT? Hahaha!"
Laughs uncontrollably.
"Your BLUE FONT, Kash!"
Scratches his head once the point has been made.
"Yeah, whatever... take it back. Although I'm more awesome than you and anybody else in the W2K for quite the obvious reasons, it suits the Supernova better than anybody else. Besides, you make up cool little sayings that make people laugh."
Pulls out floss and does his front teeth
"Canadian beaver..."
Spits on the floor
"One of the most hated meats by myself, the Fockamile Hunter. I don't really know why I eat it as much as I do, but how could I just leave this perfectly good meat in the refrigerator's freezer that was hunted by my Eskimo friends up North? They work hard for this stuff, so I might as well respect them by eatinga and digesting it. Although I could lie and throw it out or even feed it to my dogs, but... many things in life don't make sense. For example, this promo."
Shrugs.
"Pointless as this may be, it will still be one of the most remembered promos for eternity."
Walks to camera.
"Won't it? WON'T IT?!"
Punches himself in the side of the face.
"Hamid, fire me."
Fade out.