Post by TFP on Nov 8, 2008 23:02:45 GMT -4
"NOISY NEIGHBORS!!!"
PJ Curtis: "HEY! SHUT UP! Doesn't it piss you off when your neighbors are screaming, causing a disturbance in the neighborhood? When they make too much noise, it just pisses you off because you're not a person who likes noise that isn't yours. Normally you wouldn't mind the odd blast of music coming from your neighbor's residence, nor would you care about the engine of their vehicle being hear for miles away. But when it becomes a huge habit, it really starts to become annoying. As the big things start to annoy you, later do the the small things. Normally the small things used to be tolerated and you could deal with them, but when big noise that is made annoys you, almost any noise annoys you afterwards. The barking of their dog, the sizzle of their barbeque and the sound of them fixxing up their doorstep. So if you're one of those people who are known to cause a ruckus in your area, keep this in mind: DON'T FUCKIN' DO IT OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR FINGERS CHOPPED OFF BY ME AND MY RUSTY CHAINSAW!"
"SHOPPING CARTS AND SAD STATE OF GROCERY STORES!!!"
Bob Pocket: "And doesn't it just irk you when people in the grocery store leave their shopping cart in front of something that you wanna grab? You want to go and reach over it, but if you even go near their cart, they'll yell at you and accuse you of stealing something from them or putting unwanted items with their stuff. It's hard to do something innocent in the grocery store such as reaching over their cart without getting in trouble with the manager. There's something wrong with society these days where guys wearing masks aren't trusted or given respect. I wonder what was the cause of that problem. But either way, it pisses me off."
"FREE TRIALS!!!"
PJ Curtis: "And you know how websites offer you free-trials so that you can test their program and see whether or not you might actually buy it in the future? How lame is that? They give you one week to use the program, but what the Hell is the point of using it for seven days when you have around a thousand things to use it for? DVD ripping programs, for example; they let you rip 16 DVDs whole and when you're done, you have to either pay or not use it at all. Now why in the Hell am I going to pay for something that I can get for free with something you call a torrent? I mean, you're getting people to PAY YOU for BEING A THIEF. The people who rip DVDs shouldn't have to pay for a program that does illegal things. That's stupid. It's like buying drugs or paying a hitman."
"CATS!!!"
Bob Pocket: "Cats. Oh yes, they look all cute and cuddly to the average person, sometimes they even get purchased by you. Then when you bring it home, set out its food and put the litter box in a room of a person that you don't like, it stinks up the house at the worst time possible. So you're up around one o'clock in the morning and ready to eat something, drink a bit of alcohol and go to bed. But no... you can't. Why? Because the cat just took a crap in the litterbox that is located a bit down the hallway and the smell has managed to travel to you, causing you to lose your appetite of eating, make you not want to drink and cause you to forget going to bed. What's the fun in going to bed when you smell cat crap in the air? SOMEBODY GIVE ME SOME FEBREEZE!"
"CROOKED CASHIERS!!!"
PJ Curtis: "Cashiers that overcharge items. Isn't that just the worse? One time I walked down the road to a store and the man who runs the place is old and friendly. I figure that I would be a nice guy and buy more than one item, so I walk to the back and grab myself a bottle of Dr. Pepper, Nachos and a Mars Bar. I take it to the counter and he adds it all up... eleven bucks. ELEVEN FUCKIN' BUCKS! I COULD GO TO THE GROCERY STORE THAT IS THREE FOUR MILES AWAY AND BUY THE SAME EXACT ITEMS FOR ONLY THREE FIFTY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! I ONLY GET TWENTY BUCKS A WEEK! Yes, FWA refuses to write us a real check until we actually do some work that is praised. So instead they give us free rights to the vending machines and twenty bucks a week. But I can't complain."
"VISITING!!!"
Bob Pocket: "I also hate having to wake up around ten in the morning to get ready for something in the afternoon that will only last about an hour or two. Visting people sucks. No really, it does. You force yourself to sleep at a reasonable hour and wake up around nine or ten in the morning, get ready, and leave around dinner time. When you finally arrive at the place you want to go to, nothing happens. Nope. Nothing happens. Not much conversation, not much done. Instead you just sit, watch a television channel that has nothing good to show, and you eat out the person's fridge. That's the only exciting part: eating and sitting. But even eating and sitting get bored once in awhile. So here's a new rule for people who don't like visiting: NEVER DO IT UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING PLANNED! Listening to things you don't care about isn't fun."
"ENERGY DRINKS!!!"
PJ Curtis: "Anybody who buys these should be thrown up against the wall and have red paint thrown on them. Energy drinks are useless and don't do a thing. All that they do is taste like cherry cough syrup, yet all the brands are different names, yet taste the same. These cannot be healthy for you, so don't buy them. I know that this is coming from a guy who eats cheesy nachos, but I'd rather have clogged arteries than an overworked heart. So when you think about buying an energy drink next time, don't do it. Buy a beer or a Coke. You'll thank yourself in the end. A sugar rush is better than a caffeine rush. I drank four energy drinks in my life. I was immune to them all. I didn't grow any fuckin' wings, so I'm going to press a lawsuit against that company. Misleading commercials."
PJ Curtis: "HEY! SHUT UP! Doesn't it piss you off when your neighbors are screaming, causing a disturbance in the neighborhood? When they make too much noise, it just pisses you off because you're not a person who likes noise that isn't yours. Normally you wouldn't mind the odd blast of music coming from your neighbor's residence, nor would you care about the engine of their vehicle being hear for miles away. But when it becomes a huge habit, it really starts to become annoying. As the big things start to annoy you, later do the the small things. Normally the small things used to be tolerated and you could deal with them, but when big noise that is made annoys you, almost any noise annoys you afterwards. The barking of their dog, the sizzle of their barbeque and the sound of them fixxing up their doorstep. So if you're one of those people who are known to cause a ruckus in your area, keep this in mind: DON'T FUCKIN' DO IT OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR FINGERS CHOPPED OFF BY ME AND MY RUSTY CHAINSAW!"
"SHOPPING CARTS AND SAD STATE OF GROCERY STORES!!!"
Bob Pocket: "And doesn't it just irk you when people in the grocery store leave their shopping cart in front of something that you wanna grab? You want to go and reach over it, but if you even go near their cart, they'll yell at you and accuse you of stealing something from them or putting unwanted items with their stuff. It's hard to do something innocent in the grocery store such as reaching over their cart without getting in trouble with the manager. There's something wrong with society these days where guys wearing masks aren't trusted or given respect. I wonder what was the cause of that problem. But either way, it pisses me off."
"FREE TRIALS!!!"
PJ Curtis: "And you know how websites offer you free-trials so that you can test their program and see whether or not you might actually buy it in the future? How lame is that? They give you one week to use the program, but what the Hell is the point of using it for seven days when you have around a thousand things to use it for? DVD ripping programs, for example; they let you rip 16 DVDs whole and when you're done, you have to either pay or not use it at all. Now why in the Hell am I going to pay for something that I can get for free with something you call a torrent? I mean, you're getting people to PAY YOU for BEING A THIEF. The people who rip DVDs shouldn't have to pay for a program that does illegal things. That's stupid. It's like buying drugs or paying a hitman."
"CATS!!!"
Bob Pocket: "Cats. Oh yes, they look all cute and cuddly to the average person, sometimes they even get purchased by you. Then when you bring it home, set out its food and put the litter box in a room of a person that you don't like, it stinks up the house at the worst time possible. So you're up around one o'clock in the morning and ready to eat something, drink a bit of alcohol and go to bed. But no... you can't. Why? Because the cat just took a crap in the litterbox that is located a bit down the hallway and the smell has managed to travel to you, causing you to lose your appetite of eating, make you not want to drink and cause you to forget going to bed. What's the fun in going to bed when you smell cat crap in the air? SOMEBODY GIVE ME SOME FEBREEZE!"
"CROOKED CASHIERS!!!"
PJ Curtis: "Cashiers that overcharge items. Isn't that just the worse? One time I walked down the road to a store and the man who runs the place is old and friendly. I figure that I would be a nice guy and buy more than one item, so I walk to the back and grab myself a bottle of Dr. Pepper, Nachos and a Mars Bar. I take it to the counter and he adds it all up... eleven bucks. ELEVEN FUCKIN' BUCKS! I COULD GO TO THE GROCERY STORE THAT IS THREE FOUR MILES AWAY AND BUY THE SAME EXACT ITEMS FOR ONLY THREE FIFTY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! I ONLY GET TWENTY BUCKS A WEEK! Yes, FWA refuses to write us a real check until we actually do some work that is praised. So instead they give us free rights to the vending machines and twenty bucks a week. But I can't complain."
"VISITING!!!"
Bob Pocket: "I also hate having to wake up around ten in the morning to get ready for something in the afternoon that will only last about an hour or two. Visting people sucks. No really, it does. You force yourself to sleep at a reasonable hour and wake up around nine or ten in the morning, get ready, and leave around dinner time. When you finally arrive at the place you want to go to, nothing happens. Nope. Nothing happens. Not much conversation, not much done. Instead you just sit, watch a television channel that has nothing good to show, and you eat out the person's fridge. That's the only exciting part: eating and sitting. But even eating and sitting get bored once in awhile. So here's a new rule for people who don't like visiting: NEVER DO IT UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING PLANNED! Listening to things you don't care about isn't fun."
"ENERGY DRINKS!!!"
PJ Curtis: "Anybody who buys these should be thrown up against the wall and have red paint thrown on them. Energy drinks are useless and don't do a thing. All that they do is taste like cherry cough syrup, yet all the brands are different names, yet taste the same. These cannot be healthy for you, so don't buy them. I know that this is coming from a guy who eats cheesy nachos, but I'd rather have clogged arteries than an overworked heart. So when you think about buying an energy drink next time, don't do it. Buy a beer or a Coke. You'll thank yourself in the end. A sugar rush is better than a caffeine rush. I drank four energy drinks in my life. I was immune to them all. I didn't grow any fuckin' wings, so I'm going to press a lawsuit against that company. Misleading commercials."