Post by TFP on Nov 8, 2008 23:09:47 GMT -4
A late night commercial comes on during a one-hour block of nothing but advertisements promoting things. One of those promotions feature nothing other than FWA's own Bob Pocket and PJ Curtis, promoting nothing more than an object for sale from FWA itself. They both wear suits and ties, dressed all properly because who really buys things from television ads, anyways? Nobody! That's because none of them wear suits and ties. Bob wears a mask, that's unusual, but what isn't? It's a television advertisement, late night, and only ten people seriously watch and listen to these things anyways.
Bob Pocket: "Is your summer hot? Does it leave you all sticky and sweaty, wanting to take your clothes off and just run through a sprinkler that can cool you off and make you feel refreshed and better all at the same time? Does the sun make you want to melt, and is it even killing you by putting your city or the area you live in through an eight day heatwave that is causing massvie droughts, dehydrating babies and making old people fart... I mean faint! Well, does your summer do that? If so, don't go dying on us, because all those problems can be solved with this..."
i15.photobucket.com/albums/a376/DavidsonTFP/FWA/MarkStoneSprinkler.gif
Bob Pocket: "Itttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt's the MARK STONE SPRINKLER SYSTEM!"
The two jump up and point between one another. PJ gives the statue a slap and water starts to come out from the eyes.
teh Slax0rz: "YEAH!"
PJ Curtis: "The Mark Stone Sprinkler System is a life-size duplication of FWA's formerly own Mark Stone. It's perfect for hot weather and summer time because when he bitches and cries, water comes out and is able to drench you in water - keeping you moist, refreshed and keeping you cooled off. The best thing about the Mark Stone Sprinkler System is that you don't need to hook a water hose up to it because the only way it can produce water is if you make it upset, thus causing it to cry. Tell it that it's taking everything too seriously, tell it that it's acting immature and like an idiot - that is BOUND to make it work, my guarantee or your money back!"
PJ gives the usual salesman guarantee thumbs up, made famous by that Oxyclean Guy, Billy Mays.
images.google.ca/url?q=http://www.georgesuhon.com/images/billymays/billymays2.jpg&usg=AFQjCNHd7Z1yIcfZfDSNUBhh5nym1q6yHQ
Do you see? DO YOU SEE?!
Bob Pocket: "Also included with the Mark Stone Sprinkler System is a singing Lillian doll! Just place hook up some sort of wire to her fake plastic microphone near her fake plastic breasts, then sit, watch and wait. It's really fun, too! She can sing all sorts of things that will get you signing along. Such classics from the Doodletown Piper Band, the Rustic Apples and the LEAVES! But don't wait out on this extravagantly awesome deal, because it is a limited time offer and you can only get the singing Lillian doll this one time only. Don't wait! Call today!"
Fade.
Bob Pocket: "Is your summer hot? Does it leave you all sticky and sweaty, wanting to take your clothes off and just run through a sprinkler that can cool you off and make you feel refreshed and better all at the same time? Does the sun make you want to melt, and is it even killing you by putting your city or the area you live in through an eight day heatwave that is causing massvie droughts, dehydrating babies and making old people fart... I mean faint! Well, does your summer do that? If so, don't go dying on us, because all those problems can be solved with this..."
i15.photobucket.com/albums/a376/DavidsonTFP/FWA/MarkStoneSprinkler.gif
Bob Pocket: "Itttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt's the MARK STONE SPRINKLER SYSTEM!"
The two jump up and point between one another. PJ gives the statue a slap and water starts to come out from the eyes.
teh Slax0rz: "YEAH!"
PJ Curtis: "The Mark Stone Sprinkler System is a life-size duplication of FWA's formerly own Mark Stone. It's perfect for hot weather and summer time because when he bitches and cries, water comes out and is able to drench you in water - keeping you moist, refreshed and keeping you cooled off. The best thing about the Mark Stone Sprinkler System is that you don't need to hook a water hose up to it because the only way it can produce water is if you make it upset, thus causing it to cry. Tell it that it's taking everything too seriously, tell it that it's acting immature and like an idiot - that is BOUND to make it work, my guarantee or your money back!"
PJ gives the usual salesman guarantee thumbs up, made famous by that Oxyclean Guy, Billy Mays.
images.google.ca/url?q=http://www.georgesuhon.com/images/billymays/billymays2.jpg&usg=AFQjCNHd7Z1yIcfZfDSNUBhh5nym1q6yHQ
Do you see? DO YOU SEE?!
Bob Pocket: "Also included with the Mark Stone Sprinkler System is a singing Lillian doll! Just place hook up some sort of wire to her fake plastic microphone near her fake plastic breasts, then sit, watch and wait. It's really fun, too! She can sing all sorts of things that will get you signing along. Such classics from the Doodletown Piper Band, the Rustic Apples and the LEAVES! But don't wait out on this extravagantly awesome deal, because it is a limited time offer and you can only get the singing Lillian doll this one time only. Don't wait! Call today!"
Fade.